The Diary of a Daughter

Straight-A Daughter

2012-01-21T15:10:00.006-07:00


"I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address." Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail

As of last Tuesday, a new semester has officially begun. Aside from giving up reading for pleasure, free time, and sleeping in, I really love going back to school. I love the structure of it. I love buying new books with hopes of mastering their contents. I love reading syllabuses and planning assignments. And I've always secretly wanted to receive a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils during the back to school season

Actually, I've loved learning for as long as I can remember. I recall sitting in the backseat of our Toyota hatchback on long drives and asking my mom to quiz me with math problems and spelling words. When I'm learning, it's like I can actually feeling my brain neurons firing and making connections. Learning, growing, expanding. I love that feeling. Challenging my intellect is one of the things that makes me feel alive.

This feeling simmered in my heart as I moved back home in 2010 to finish my undergrad. I began taking classes, writing papers, and giving presentations, all to my heart's delight. But there was something more beneath the surface than my pure love of learning... I had a record to keep. You see, I've never gotten a B. School has always been defined by one letter for me: A. Luckily, academics came easy and I excelled. But as middle school, high school, and my first couple years of college scrolled by with straight A's, it became more than nice fact or accomplishment. It became my identity.

Isn't it funny how we, as humans, love to keep track of perfect records? No cavities, no speeding tickets, no B's. There's something in people that desperately wants to earn approval based on good behavior - me being chief among them. I was so terrified of breaking my record and getting anything less than an A, that I would sacrifice relationships, sleep, and ultimately sanity to focus on my studies. (Bursting into tears over 20 page term papers as if my world was crumbling can not be deemed sane in my opinion.)

The breaking point came last spring semester. I was taking 18 credits at school, a Hebrew class on top of that, working 25 hours a week, and volunteering for a non-profit. People would look at me in amazement when I described my schedule. I was often asked, "How do you do it?" Or boosted with the occasional, "Well, if anyone can do it, it's you Chelsea." I would always respond with a light hearted laugh, shrug my shoulders, and say "Oh, you know" with a sparkling smile, as if it didn't phase me. But in reality, I had stretched myself so thin that I was snapping in every direction. The end of the semester found me with straight A's, but little else. I was exhausted, burn out, and hadn't read my Bible in a month.

One night I finally asked the question, why am I so terrified of not getting an A? Almost immediately I recognized that "4.0 Chelsea" had become my identity. Over the years, I knew that I wasn't the funniest girl or the prettiest, but I was smart - I knew I was smart.   I had built my world around that one fact. And if I got a B (a grade I felt would brand me of average intelligence),then who was I? What made me special? It was that fear drove me to over work, over extend, and over achieve.

But then Abba came and whispered,

Be a Daughter.

Being a daughter doesn't require anything of you.

You do not earn the title based on your own virtue, rather it is bestowed on you simply because I am your Father.

Daughters are at rest.

The Father's sweet words gave me freedom and purpose. He continued on, I've sent you back to school for more than straight A's. You are to bring my Light to your campus. Chelsea, I'd rather you get B's because you were spending your time sharing the gospel and praying for the sick, than get A's because all you did was study.

I was completely overwhelmed. He blew my box wide open and faces of the 60,000 students on my campus flashed through my mind. I began to weep as compassion overtook me and all I wanted was for each of them to know the glorious love that eclipsed my heart.

Now, at the beginning of a new year and new semester, I smile in light of all the Lord has done. I am more passionate about the gospel and evangelism than I have ever been in my entire life. And while I still want to fulfill my coursework with excellence, peace - not fear - defines me.

"In the place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’ they will be called ‘children of the living God.'" Hosea 1:10

How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?

2012-01-06T10:44:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, a co-worker asked me if I had found "the love of my life" yet. I informed him that I had not and explained that I'm trusting God to divinely ordain that situation. Additionally, I explained to him that I have pretty high standards. I want to spend my life with someone who wants to live the same kind of international, faith lifestyle I do - committed to fighting injustice and shining Jesus' glorious light. Aware of my extreme moral convictions, my unbelieving co-worker looked at me quizzically and matter-of-factly replied "Geez, you're never gonna find anyone."

Thankfully, his words did not pierce, but simply afforded me a good laugh. It's true, to a world who has not known the beautiful and faithful love of my Father, my romantic future may look bleak. But in my heart, there is perfect peace.

Let's just hope that when God does bring my husband along, that he NEVER uses one of these pick-up lines! Yikes!

I just don't feel called to celibacy.

For you, I would slay two Goliaths.

You are so unblemished that I would sacrifice you.

At points in my life I have been referred to as Samson.

The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry" How about dinner?

I didn't believe in predestination until tonight. (personal favorite)

I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.

I can be your Boaz.

My spiritual gift is my good looks.

Is this the transfiguration.. because you are glowing.

Mark Driscoll takes up 35% of my ipod memory. (I would actually be OK with this...)

I have many sponsor children - one in each developing nation.

Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives... because he never met you.

Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Bible in your pocket? (I have that Bible!)

How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?

How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?

Let me remove my sandals before I come any closer.

Feel free to meet me at the threshing floor.

I have a bible verse tattoo. It's permanent. It's also in ancient Greek.

Have you died before? Because that looks like a resurrection body to me.

I mentioned you in my testimony.

Laughter is the best medicine...

Airplanes are No Place for Tears

2012-01-04T22:33:00.003-07:00

Wonderful New Years Eve dinner with Spokane Friends!

2012 is officially in full swing. This reality seems to be crashing in on me today, it being my first day back at work after the holiday and school starting up again in just two short weeks (yikes!). Part of me wishes that I could just squeeze my eyes closed tight and go back to holidays and vacations. My holidays were spent with my lovely family, but for New Years, I charted my course northwest! For five days I enjoyed the love and conversation of treasured friends in beautiful Spokane, Washington, only to force myself onto a Denver bound airplane yesterday and make my way home.

As I looked out the window of the plane at the outline of Spokane, organized on the ground like children's building blocks, tears filled my eyes. My heart had come alive in the presence of friends and the company of beloved community. Now, I was leaving a home to go home - and conflict wrestled in my heart. As my tears increased and began blur my vision, I suddenly remembered crying on an airplane almost exactly four years ago.

It was a cold January day in 2008 and I was going to Cyprus for the first time. I had just said goodbye to my family, knowing I wouldn't see them for six months, and boarded a plane headed half-way across the world because I had read a website and heard a whisper from the Holy Spirit. I felt scared and uncertain and just sat in my seat and let the tears flow freely down my face (it wasn't even a soft gentle crying - it was my ugly cry - complete with face contortion, mascara running, and sharp inhaling). After a few moments, a sweet older woman claimed the aisle seat. She took one look at me, her eyes full of compassion, leaned over and said, "Sweetheart, airplanes are no place for tears. I don't know where you're going or who you've just said goodbye to, but there is a great adventure waiting for you."

Little did I know at the time that she was so, so right. I eventually stopped crying and those next six months in the Mediterranean were some of the most adventurous, beautiful, and wonderful of my life. All those warm memories flooded my conscious yesterday as we soared over the Continental Divide on our way to Colorado. I reminded myself that although it was heart wrenching to leave the friends and community that have become so close to my heart, that my Father was calling me onward. He has great and immeasurable plans for me in this season. I don't want to miss them.

A pastor friend of mine says that the very nature of the call of God is upward. I have found solace in that truth yesterday, last night, and today. He beckons me to move forward, upward, onward. So rather than lament on what I have left, I will set my eyes ahead of me - focused on His call and attentive to His voice. After all, how am I supposed to see Him and what He wants to do in me with all these tears clouding my vision?

Here I go.

Crushes on Dead Men and Theology in Movies

2011-12-18T09:48:00.011-07:00

John Calvin

In high school I started going to a new youth group at a local church. I met lots of new people, made some life long friends, and learned a bunch of theology. You see, this church youth group wasn't like the ones you may be familiar with. We had fun like most, but rather than playing endless games of Have you ever? and freeze tag, we dissected systematic theology and pondered dispensationalism. We were a bit intense. I was also introduced to a guy there. He said things I had never heard before. He was wise and intellectual. He glorified God's sovereignty and had an affinity for tulips. After a while the inevitable happened - I developed a crush on him. I was smitten with John Calvin.

Me at the John Calvin
statue in Geneva

Some may see this as problematic considering the fact that Calvin died in 1564 (and there's that intense beard issue), but I was more concerned with Calvin's writings and doctrine. John Calvin is famous in church history for propagating the notion of God predestining humans for salvation, and every other aspect of life, based on five theologic points that spell out the acronym, TULIP. I was enthralled with Calvinism and the solace I found in believing God was in control of literally everything. This theological crush was my entry point into Reformed Theology. Over the next few years, my friends and I spent hours debating theology and stayed up to all hours of the night listening to John Piper sermons... for fun. It was a very Jesus-nerd stage of life. I was a bona-fide 5-point Calvinist, committed to the teachings of God's sovereignty, and considered free will a dirty word, or two words rather.

A lot has changed since those days, some of which I wrote about in a previous post. While I still love a lot of Reformed thinking and have kept some of it in my current hodgepodge of eclectic theology, I have digressed into a 2.5 point Calvinist and acknowledged that I really don't understand it all. Although I am in a new season of being content with not knowing all the answers, investigating the ways of God still fascinates me and I am constantly intrigued by the small things that shape my view of Him.

One such moment came when watching the film The Adjustment Bureau. That's right folks, a secular movie was instrumental in shaping my theology [gasp]! While this is something that I swore I would never EVER do, times have changed and I was actually really provoked by a quote at the end of the film. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, I don't want to spoil it for you, but the basic story line is that an unseen organization called the Adjustment Bureau (led by the God-like mysterious "Chairman") predestines the future of humans until one day, a man (Matt Damon) tries to fight for his own fate. At the very end, a member of the Adjustment Bureau closes the film by saying, "I think that's the Chairman's real plan ... maybe, one day, we won't write the plan. You will." [Insert my mind warping, making connections, and thinking at a hundred miles an hour here.] The credits rolled and I just sat there, pondering that thought.

After some time and reflection, here is my hypothesis. We know that God is abounding in love for us because He is a good Father. And like any good father, He is going to make choices for us that are in our best interest. This makes Him no more of a crazed power-weilding divine dictator than an earthly father who chooses nutritious food and warm clothes for his children. The choices are in our best interests.

But, just like when we grew up and our parents began to let us make our own choices about what we wore, ate, read, watched, and played, God also allows His children greater freedom as they grow into maturity. I fully believe that when Jesus has returned and we are living in His glorious kingdom, He will delegate responsibilities to us, allowing us to rule and reign with Him. (P.S. I totally call dibs on establishing a righteous and just government with Jesus someday!) So in light of this, maybe life is one big training ground for us in our journey of regeneration and redemption, so that one day we will be equipped to rule with Christ. That one day I will be so much like my Father in Heaven that He won't have to predestine things in my life - I'll make the choices He would have made for me all along.

Maybe it isn't an either/or situation between Calvinism and the Armenian free will doctrine - maybe it's both. Perhaps the Father has prepared seasons of greater predestination and seasons in which He allows us greater use of choice. This concept would have driven me crazy a few years ago, because it seems so grey. I firmly believed in absolute, right or wrong, black or white, truth. But the more I get to know Jesus, I'm realizing that we live most of our life in the grey areas. As a wise friend and mentor always says, we live life in the tension between two truths - forcing us to constantly rely on Christ to keep us in balance. For the first time in a long time (maybe ever) I feel like I'm learning to walk this grey tightrope of balance between the two predestination camps. Does God predestine life for us or do we have free will to make our own choice? I answer, yes.

So that's the theology that I found in a movie and that's about where I sit with the whole predestination thing right now. We must acknowledge that predestination exists because Jesus said "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them." (John 6:44) and Paul tells us that "those God foreknew he also predestined." (Romans 8:29). But what that exactly means, I have no idea. And I'm okay with that. For now I'm loving the idea that God predestines parts of our lives out of His great, caring, protective love for us and that someday I'll be like Him.

And let's face it, that beard really would have been an issue. Sorry Mr. Calvin.

Where are you in the predestination ~~debate~~ conversation?

Eleven Years

2011-11-22T21:18:00.006-07:00

Shannon and I in Jin Li, Chengdu, China

This eleventh month of the year 2011 will mark eleven years of friendship with one of the dearest people I know. When my family moved back to Colorado in the fall of 2000, I was a lonely 12 year old, uprooted from all I knew and attempting to adjust to the multitude of changes occurring in my life. My aunt, knowing I was in need of a good friend, set my family and another family up on a "friend blind date" of sorts. And so, on a chilly November evening, Shannon and I met for the first time at a toy store in our small town.

Since that day, we have experienced so much together. We've gone through joys and heartbreaks, close times and seasons where we drifted apart, hilarious adolescence and attempting to figure out this whole adulthood thing. But through it all, Shannon has been one of the dearest, most faithful of friends. I remember huddling away in a corner to pray for our future husbands together when we were 13, listening to hours of LaRue, attempting to give Shannon dreadlocks during a weekend in the mountains at age 14, and our first annual all girls camping trip. But, perhaps my most favorite memory is when we dreamed of going to the nations. A true kindred spirit, Shan and I would dream about where the Father would call us, how many orphans we'd save, and what languages we'd learn to share the gospel in. Our hearts bonded while dreaming about reaching a dark and hurting world with the glorious light of the Son. And that's exactly what we did.

Through the years, we've watched each other go to five continents, swapping Africa stories and laughing about culture shock. We've loved on those orphans and shared the good news in over 20 countries between the two of us. And all those years of dreaming about being like Amy Carmichael when we grow up are making this exact moment so much sweeter.

You see, I am in China.

Shannon has been living here for the past year, serving the King we both so ardently love and have pursued together. Closer now than ever, we talk for hours about the marvels of our King and the beauty of His ever-present grace in our lives. Watching His work in her has been one of life's greatest pleasures and actually being able to live life with her here for a few days is beyond sweet. Everyday here I am moved to tears by the goodness of the Father. He brought us from little girls with big dreams to a place where we are actually living them.

Friendship is one of the Father's most precious gifts to us. Being able to walk in covenant with another human being through the good and bad times is such a picture of Christ's love for us. Having someone walk with you who says "I will fight for the Father's best in your life and not allow you to settle for anything else" is truly amazing if we stop and think about. Friendship allows us to witness another's life, cheering them on along the way. Shannon has spent the last few years cheering me on, supporting me, and encouraging me while I've been living and serving overseas, and now it's my turn to cheer. And that's exactly why I'm in China -- cheering on my faithful friend in the work of our Daddy-King.

Oh, and I am having WAY TOO MUCH FUN doing it!

Oh thank you Father for friendship.

Embracing the Crazy & Learning to Love

2011-11-13T18:03:00.003-07:00

This summer, I reached the one year mark of living back in the states. It was a bittersweet feeling. I miss the nations in the deep places of my heart, but cherish the sweet lessons I have learned in this year at home. I have reconnected with friends and mentors, bonded with family, and completed a year of university. School has been inspiring for a nerd like me, as I'm sure future blogs will reveal. But perhaps the most important thing I learned at school last year was a lesson in love.

After three years of traveling the world, studying the Bible, and living in a missional community I re-entered the American academic world. As a political science major, I dusted off my apologetics books and brushed up on my debate arguments. Enrolled in a "secular college" I was prepared to win people to Christ through the virtue of my argument -- intellectually and logically. I was tired of accusations that Christians can't use their brains and intended to prove them all wrong.

But then something happened. First, I realized that nobody was asking the questions I had rehearsed the answers to. My classmates and professors didn't care about the Council of Niccea, they were just trying to get through today. I listened to hours of people... hurting. Looking for love. Broken. Purposeless. Then it hit me, they didn't need an argument, they needed to encounter love. A love that never ends, never gives up, never fails. For once they experienced a love like that, I wouldn't need to convince them God was real, they would know it at the core of who they are. And so I set aside my arguments and picked up the burden of love for my classmates and co-workers.

I have also been doing what I affectionately call, "embracing the crazy." Once I allowed myself to let go of logic as a tool of winning my friends to the Kingdom, I realized how crazy we Christians sound -- and I love it! I believe in a virgin birth and that a God/man's blood allows me to live forever! Just let that sink in a bit. Sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? But that is the beauty of faith. God is completely other than us. He is beyond our reasoning, comprehension, and logic. So rather than try to intellectualize the indescribable and logically prove the immeasurable, I'm learning to embrace the fact that I don't understand it all. I have no other explanation other than faith. It is truly believing in the unseen hope. I love that I can't fathom all that He is, because if I could, I would limit Him in the finite dimensions of my own mind. No, my Jesus is limitless. He is the author of life and sculptor of love.

So I choose to embrace the crazy -- to treasure what is beautifully foreign and unseen. I never thought I would be the girl championing fluffy love over intellectualism or debate, but my human logic is overrated in the light of God's strong, unchanging, life-giving love. He is more real than I could ever describe and more loving than I could ever argue. His love reigns supreme in the universe and it's going to change the world. Has it changed yours? Will you let Him in?

Golda Meir's House: My Daily Inspiration

2011-10-05T21:40:00.007-06:00

In 1911, Herman Kortz and his wife Fanny, built a small, brick duplex in the style of the Denver Double at 1606-1608 Julian Street to serve as a rental property. The Kortz family had established themselves in Denver business with their jewelry stores, of which Elvis Presley was a loyal customer. Almost immediately upon the house's completion, Sam and Shayna Korngold, a young couple with their daughter, Judith, moved in as tenants.

The west Colfax neighborhood of turn-of-the century Denver had become somewhat of a gathering place for Jews of Russian decent, such as the Korngolds. Most of them had traveled out West for treatment at Denver's famous Jewish Hospital for Consumptives (Jewish Consumptive Relief Society and National Jewish Hospital), and were either ill or recently recovered from tuberculosis. This was also true for the Korgolds, as Shayna suffered from consumption. In 1913, Shayna's younger sister, Golda (known as Goldie to her family) unexpectedly came to live with the Korngolds in their Denver home. Fifteen-year-old Golda had been living with her parents in Milwaukee, studying to become a teacher. Her parents however, wished Golda to discontinue her studies and marry the young man they had chosen for her. Knowing that Milwaukee law forbade married women from teaching in public schools, Golda ran away to Colorado to continue her studies.

While in Denver, Golda worked part time as a presser for her brother-in-law at Korngold's Cleaning and Pressing Works, near the Brown Palace Hotel and attended North High School. In the evenings, the Korngold's home served as a regular meeting place for Jewish intellectuals in the community. Philosophical discussions and heated debates, covering a broad range of topics, would often carry on into the early morning hours. It was during these nights of intellectual fervor that Golda developed many of the values and ideas that would later serve her during her political career, including Zionism and women's suffrage. In her 1975 autobiography My Life, she stated, "to the extent that my own future convictions were shaped and given form ... those talk-filled nights in Denver played a considerable role." and "it was in Denver that my real education began."

Not only did Denver nourish Golda's future political life, but her personal one as well. She met an artistically inclined, music-loving sign painter named Morris Meyerson, whom she married four years later. After two years in Denver, Golda reconciled with her parents and moved back to Milwaukee to complete her high school education. Shortly there after, she, Morris, and her beloved sister Shayna emigrated to what was then know as Palestine, where they changed their name from Meyerson to its original Hebrew version: Meir. The year was 1921.
With Shayna's emigration to Israel, the Korngolds vacated the Julian Street house, and the Kortz's found new tenants. Various families and individuals inhabited the duplex over the the next fifty years, but none so influential nor inspiring as Golda Meir.

Shortly after Golda's death in 1978, the duplex was identified as her home and reached its current home on the Denver Auraria campus in 1988. The city of Denver deemed the house city landmark in 1995. The house remains the sole preserved American residence of Golda Meir.

Every time I walk past this quaint brick home on campus, I am inspired. I'm inspired at how my ramblings and debates of today could change the world tomorrow. I'm inspired by how God can use women who are passionate. I'm inspired by how a woman will move across the world to act on what she believes. I'm inspired by how much just one woman can inspire me.

This house feels like a gift from the Father just for me. It serves as just one more confirmation that I'm supposed to be where I am, studying what I am, because someday, He just might use me to inspire others.

I'm the Christian I was Before

2011-10-01T12:42:00.001-06:00

I'm not the Christian I used to be. I'm the Christian I was before.

I've been unraveling that mystery over the last few days, weeks, and months.

Things are beginning to come into focus.

When I was little, I was enthralled with Jesus. The songs we sang in Sunday School all revolved around Him. He was "in my heart" and on my VBS t-shirt. He was everything. I drew pictures of Him, asked questions about Him, and sang "Happy Birthday Jesus" every Christmas. I was that kid always talking to and about Jesus.

But in high school, I was introduced to the wonderful world of theology. I fell in love with the study of God -- this divine mystery that captivated me. All of a sudden, all my childhood Bible stories and flannel graphs had a very intellectual and mature context. The academic in me became slightly obsessed and I devoted myself to study. But, somewhere between Calvin and Grudem, I lost sight of Jesus. He began to seem trite. Rather than singing simple songs to Him -- I recited doctrine. Instead of using "immature" language to describe salvation such as Jesus "in my heart," I claimed that I had accepted His atonement for sin. I still loved Jesus, but it was different. I scoffed at those who mused about the fluffy, sugary, teddy bear Jesus. What baby Christians. Didn't they know that God was much more than cotton candy? He's omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent (and there's probably another omni in there somewhere). All I could see was arguments, theologies, and 5 point doctrines. I felt as though I had found my niche. I was going to be the smart theology girl. It takes my breath away to think of it now, but Jesus faded into the background for awhile -- replaced with scholars and systematic theology. Jesus became cute and unimportant. The cross became elementary.

Then something happened a few years ago. Jesus cut through my logic and showed me love. All of a sudden I was a child once more. Jesus captured my affections in a way so real and so tangible that my heart gushed for Him. In this last year at home, He has led me further and further down the path of love. These days I sound like a certified hippie, because I am consumed with Jesus' love. It's what the world needs now -- His love, sweet love. When life is the question, Jesus' love is the answer. I still enjoy theology and ridiculously thick books full of ideas about the Divine, but now my motivation is purely love. Oh that I might know all that my heart and mind can contain about this magnificent One. I've come full circle, back to the little girl who is enthralled with Jesus.

Thank You Jesus that I'm not the Christian I used to be. Thank you for making me the Christian I was before.

There's no Place Like Away from Home

2011-02-04T16:54:00.002-07:00

When asked what emotions the word home evokes, most people will respond with warm, cozy, feelings, and sentiments of security. But, in my opinion, home is far overrated. Our comfortable habitats can only allow us to experience so much. That is why, for me, there is no place like away from home. Everyday, the world waits for me – a standing invitation to break out of my confines and discover new cultures, foods, languages, and perhaps more than anything else, I truly discover myself.

Over the past several years, the nations have been my classroom. I better understand the Palestinian-Israeli conflict because I spent time in Israel and the West Bank conversing with the people. I cherish literature at a deeper level after my time in Switzerland, meandering through the oldest monastic library in the world. I devour history with greater appreciation after clambering upon Egypt's pyramids and staring into the face of the Sphinx. Intentionally positioning myself mentally and geographically for learning has lead to some of the most educational and influential experiences of my life. But none of these would have been possible had I stayed home, warm and cozy.

When I remove myself from the things in my own culture which define me, I not only learn about this wondrous world I reside in, I propel myself down the path of self-discovery. No more friends, family, or co-workers mandating who I am. No more job, school, or native culture to tell me what to do or how to dress. When I am completely outside of my daily restrictions, I am allowed to be the truest version of myself. And it is in that state of complete freedom that I feel most alive.

So, although home may be our definition of comfort and security, home is limited, and security places boundaries around our potential experiences. The world, however, is limitless – full of cultural and personal treasures waiting to be discovered. The experiences travel affords should never lead to a disdain for home, just for the contentment that it can all too easily incite. For when I am discontented with the normalcy of home, it is then that I hear the nations beckon clearest and I know that there is no place like away from home.

Help! I was Homeschooled!

2011-01-07T00:19:00.003-07:00

Shanny and I on my 22nd birthday
eating amazing baklava:)

Shannon, or Shanny as she is better know to those near and dear in her life, is one of my favorite people in the world. 2010 marked ten years of our covenant friendship and I am so blessed to know her. We have seen each other through times of joy and pain, supported each other in missions, and even went through a rebellious time together (we liked boys when we were 13. Yikes!).

One of my favorite things to do with Shanny is to talk and laugh about the book we will write together one day, entitled, Help! I was Homeschooled! We get together over chai and share our hearts to see freedom brought to young people in our generation who may have been misguided, like we were. Now, in our twenties, we have been on a similar journey of learning about the reality of blood bought grace in our lives and the freedom that is our inheritance in the Kingdom of God. So now, whenever we share a powerful revelation that Abba has given us, we half jokingly/half seriously say "That's going in our book!" Who knows, maybe you'll see it on the shelf someday.

These days Shanny is half way across the world serving our King with an ardent love that exudes from her pure heart. I miss her bunches, but couldn't be happier to see my sister/friend walking in the ways of our God -- pouring her life out for the broken.

A few weeks ago, my family had Shannon's family (all 9 of them, minus my sweet friend of course) over to our home. They all have such a special place in my heart and I soaked up the hours we spent discussing the work of God in our lives and let the tears stream down my cheeks as we worshipped and proclaimed God's goodness together. At one point in the evening I began sharing about my struggle with feeling tainted.

You see, courtship is like one of the pillars of the homeschool movement, and as a teenager, one way to look pretty spiritual is to be on the courtship train. I was that girl in middle and high school that went to the purity conferences, read the courtship books, and made the husband lists (Did anyone else do this? That's a whole other post all together!). Now those books can be really great if you read one or two, but if you read twelve like me and some of my friends did, it gets really unhealthy really fast. First, it gives you a completely skewed perspective. In retrospect, I wish that I had read one of those books, and ten others on prayer, consecration, missions, and theology. Romantic relationships did not need to take up so much space in my thoughts or my bookshelf.

Second, I fell in love with godly rules more than relationship with God. Those of you who know me well probably smile when I say that I love black and white -- right and wrong. There is something in my God created nature that loves moral absolutes and unquestionable truth. But at sixteen, that part of me saw many of the principles in those books as rules that lead to a perfect relationship, marriage, and life. The devastating flip side of that coin is that if you make even one mistake or break one rule, your hopes of a wonderful marriage shatter forever. I joke that I believed things like, "Well, I had a crush on a boy so now I'll never have a good marriage." But in reality, I believed that with all my heart. I believed that I was tainted. I knew that God would forgive and redeem me where I had been emotionally promiscuous, but I completely believed that I was no longer pure and lovely. My once white dress had its hem drug through the mud.

At this point, Caleb, Shannon's little brother (who isn't so little anymore at 21) spoke up. Caleb is the perfect example of still waters run deep. He doesn't speak up often, but when he purposes to make his voice heard, it is often profound. And this time was no exception. He began to share that you may believe that you've ruined a part of yourself by "messing up," but in reality, we are all already completely ruined and Jesus loves that. We are born in a sinful state and Jesus lovingly chooses to redeem us. Just let that sink in for a second. We are born in sin and live a life of sanctification from the moment of salvation onward. We are not born with these clean slates that we mar and mark up over the course of life. Jesus is taking me on a love adventure and as I love Him more, I am being transformed into the spectacular Bride. When Caleb spoke those words, the Holy Spirit gave me a complete paradigm shift. The lies of the enemy that I had ruined it all were no longer valid. I realized that I was born ruined and have been gloriously redeemed.

It looks like our book is going to have to have a guest contributor:) Hint, hint, Caleb.

P.S. I absolutely LOVED being homeschooled, wholly support the practice, and will probably educate my children at home someday. This is not an attack on homeschooling, simply a desire to see young people set free from lies that can be found in the broad "homeschooling movement."

Do not Despise the Season of Preparation

2010-12-13T10:51:00.002-07:00

A few months back I bought this little black Jetta. The previous owners are family friends of ours and the car had been taken good care of. Everything about getting that car was a miracle, even how I got the funds. I truly believed that God had prepared this little car just for me.

And then things started breaking. It was just small things at first, a light, the heater knob, the door lock. But then it was big things, like overheating and leaking oil. I feel like my mechanic is on speed dial these days, and even though he has wonderful prices, my bank account continues to diminish.

I hit the breaking point two weeks ago when I was on my way to school. I had just put some more oil in my car and after just ten short miles, the oil had completely drained, leaving my dipstick bone dry. You don't have to know much about cars to know that I had BIG problems. I called my professor and explained to him in a voice cracking with emotion that I wasn't going to be in class, and then I just sat on the side of the road and cried while I waited for the tow truck. I had been praying over that little car so much and I couldn't understand why this was happening. It may not sound like a big deal to some people, but it's just me and my mom at home and car stuff can get pretty overwhelming pretty fast. But as I was sitting there, crying and asking God why this was all happening, He gently reminded me of the season, two seasons actually. The first was that it was Channukah. That whole holiday ironically revolves around the miracle of the oil, and did I ever need an oil miracle of my own. Channukah is also about God's faithfulness and provision in seemingly impossible circumstances - again very relevant to my current side of the road situation. But the other season that Abba pointed out to me was the broader season He has me in during these years back in America. I learned so much during my wonderful time overseas, but He brought me back to learn some things that only home could teach me. I know so assuredly that my time here is a season of preparation - emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually - so that when I go back overseas, I will be more fully equipped. At that moment, crying alone in my car, I realized that this was an opportunity. I could become more frustrated, and cry more tears, and become more overwhelmed with my circumstances, or I could trust, pray, and rest in the fact that the God of the universe is crazy about me and is going to watch over me. I had to choose not to despise the season of preparation with its strategic challenges, but rather to embrace them as they force me into the arms of my Savior.

I believe that Jesus did in fact tell me to buy that car, but now I also see that He is going to use every challenge to increase my trust in Him.

What season does He have you in?

Son of Hamas

2010-11-01T13:00:00.004-06:00

Can you imagine being 17 years old and going to prison where you are ruthlessly tortured? Or what if there was a high possibility everyday that you would be murdered? Can you imagine your father being a terrorist?! That is the life of Mosab Hassan Yousef, the son of one of the seven founding members of the Hamas terrorist organization. Born in 1978, Mosab, the oldest of nine children, grew up in the West Bank. Surrounded with terrorism since his childhood, Mosab went to prison for attempted violence against Israel, but later ended up working for Israel as an undercover spy! On top of it all, Mosab has now become a follower of the teachings of Jesus. His is an amazing story of betrayal, political intrigue, and redemption. Having personally spent time in Israel and the West Bank, I have tasted their conflict and admire this man for his bravery and sense of justice. He has chosen to document his story in this book, “Son of Hamas,” which was published this year, in order to share with the world the truth about Hamas, Islam, and what he believes is the only answer for peace in the Middle East. I read this book in a couple days and it has given me a new sense of justice and understanding of the Middle East conflict. It is an amazing story of what is possible when we love our enemies. I highly recommend it!

sonofhamas.com

A Letter to Christian Radio

2010-11-01T12:57:00.001-06:00

Dear Christian Radio,

Overall, I appreciate you. We have a fairly good relationship. Yes, I used to mock you in my teenage years, when all I could do was criticize the music you play with it's weak writing and repetitive choruses; and although I still generally hold those opinions, I've calmed down a bit and give you a listen. I enjoy the worship songs and am grateful for how they focus my heart on Christ while driving my car. I've had some of the sweetest worship experiences with the Lord listening to the music you play, that is until the song ends. At this point, the DJ feels the need to engage in some "clever banter" before playing the next song. That is really where my grievance begins. I'm saddened to hear DJs complain about traffic and ooze over Hollywood gossip. I hear these things and double check the station. Nope, there's no mistake - it's still Christian radio. Last time I checked, we served a God who came and died for us, allowing us to speak boldly to this world about grace, life, love, and justice. Wouldn't it be amazing if when I flipped on the Christian radio I heard the DJs sharing stories of miracles rather than discussing their favorite Taco Bell combo (true story)? What benefit is there in complaining about heavy traffic when we could be encouraging one another to rise above our circumstances with the attitude of Christ Jesus? Why do we feel the need to relish in Hollywood gossip, when the works of God are unquestionably more exciting, wondrous, and awe-inspiring? Just a thought.

Sincerely,

Chelsea

Date Night

2010-11-01T12:04:00.003-06:00

I have a confession to make: my quiet times having been lacking lately. It's like the cardinal sin of Christianity isn't it? I've been trying to tell myself that I tend judge myself too harshly and that quality is often more important than quantity, but in the end I'm just not satisfied with things in their current state. School is overwhelming at times, and with the addition of friends, family, work, and church, I haven't been able to keep up the lengthly times of study and set apartness that I've been accustom to with my King.

I realized this morning that I needed a complete overhaul. I needed to fall in love with Jesus again. Now, of course I never really fell out of love with Him in the apostate sense, but I had ceased to cultivate that love relationship with Him that catches my breath and inspires my tears in the most gentle and wonderful way. I needed to refocus, so I opened up to the gospel of Luke. There's a great debate about having favorite books of the Bible and I can't say that I've chosen just one, but the gospels hold a special place in my heart. When I read them, I fall in love with Jesus all over again. I love going over the accounts of the miracles and the love that defined Him. I love how the words transcend from the page to my soul as I realize that love still defines this living God that my heart belongs to. I feel like a proud lover, saying, "Yes! This is the One that my soul loves! Isn't He amazing?!" I can't help but be romanced by the man of Christ Jesus when I truly meditate on who He is.

So, in an effort to cultivate my love relationship with this Divine Prince, I am instituting Date Night into my week. In addition to my daily quiet times, I will set aside an extended time each week to get away with my Jesus. Maybe it will be with a chai latte and my Bible in a coffee shop, maybe it will be a prayer walk through the park, or communion in the Rocky Mountains aspen trees of gold. All I know is that I need to fight for intimacy - it's life. So once a week I will leave my house and surroundings with the chores and homework that distract me, and enter into this divinely romantic world with my King - like a step through the wardrobe.

Does your relationship with God need a date night?

She Did What She Could

2010-10-25T22:40:00.004-06:00

I heard a speaker recently who taught from Mark 14, where a woman that we assume to be Mary of Bethany anoints Jesus with nard from an alabaster box. I'd read the story hundreds of times and heard dozens of speakers point to different aspects of the layered text. But this time, I heard something new. It's the sentence that Jesus speaks at the beginning of verse eight. She did what she could. In those five short words, there is a storehouse of freedom and grace. Sometimes I get so caught up in the things that I want to do but can't, that I don't do the small things that I can. I may not be able to stop human trafficking today, but am I praying about it today? I can't fix all my friend's problems, but am I sending emails and making phone calls just to let them know that I'm here to listen. I may not convince all my fellow classmates that Jesus is the Son of God, but am I treating them like Jesus would, even down to my smile? Am I doing what I can? Because in reality, all Jesus is asking is for us to rely on His strength and do what we can. Sometimes we can do a lot - more than we think we can - and sometimes we can do a little. I'm choosing to stop getting so bogged down in what I'd like to do but can't, and start doing what I can.

I recently watched the movie Bella for the first time. I loved it. Not only is it super cleans and moral, but the cinematography is absolutely beautiful. It's the story of someone who did what they could. Check it out.

In House Revival

2010-04-23T11:51:00.008-06:00

According to our calendars, this week was supposed to be the busiest of the year for us. Several teachers and guests were scheduled to join us for the week, all of whom were unable to come due to the volcanic ash hovering over Europe - the leftovers from last week's eruption in Iceland. As we began receiving emails, one by one, that flights had been cancelled and plans changed, our expectation grew for what the Lord had in store. And then the question was posed, Why not an in house revival? Over the course of this amazing week, we have seen that when our lives are open and available for a move of God, He is faithful to come and meet with us. Many students were touched with the joy of the Holy Spirit, the love of God and tears of intercession during the six to seven hour "morning worship times." There was also a wave of repentance that came when the revelation of God's love motivated us to more purely care for one another with an uncommon love. Lunch breaks and time tables became unimportant, because we were in the presence of God. Community member, Jeff Collins, stepped in as the teacher for this week, but often acted more as the facilitator of what God wanted to do, clearing a way for the Holy Spirit to freely come. When Jeff did speak, his topics included: the leading of the Holy Spirit, how we need to develop a sensitivity to His presence and that fear of grieving the Holy Spirit should far outweigh any fear of man. As the world around us fell into the chaos of the volcano's aftermath, we, a small community of burning ones in the mountains of Cyprus chose a different response. The outcome of that choice was an outbreak of Heaven in our midst. May we never be the same.

Here is one student's testimony from this week:

I had so much expectation for this week because our teachers weren't able to come. We all wanted to encounter God and have a deep move of the Holy Spirit. The Lord spoke to me and came with such a tangible reality in my body and heart, pouring out His joy. I am full of His joy! Even when we're praying for someone else, I grab the blessing for myself as well, not choosing to be a spectator. This week, a door opened in me for intercession for others, because it's also a blessing for me. One day I was laying on the floor and said "Lord, I can't make it happen." and He said, "No you can't. Why don't you just give everything to me and let me lead?" This school is not about a season for me - it's about a lifestyle. Just to know that I am His and He is mine.

Suicide to Salvation

2010-04-19T08:27:00.000-06:00

Last weekend one of our first year students received news that her Grandmother was terminally ill in the hospital and wanted to die. In Belgium (where the student and her family live) euthanasia is legal and practiced. We immediately began to pray as a community for her family and unbelieving grandmother. One of the saddest things was that when asked if she wanted to talk to a pastor before making the decision to end her life, the grandmother replied "I have no sin." Our hearts broke for this woman and the way she had been deceived. We began to declare LIFE over her and ask God to come and change her heart. Over the course of the week we waited for reports from Belgium on the grandmother's status. The student's parents are believers and spent every moment they could with the grandmother, sharing the gospel with her. Then, late Thursday night, we got the news: the grandmother had a revelation of her sin and had accepted Jesus! There is no way I can express the jubilation in our community as we heard those words. Not only is God working in her spirit, but her whole body used to be in pain and now there are only two places that hurt! We are believing for a full healing in the natural and that she would declare God's goodness to the rest of the unbelieving family! Amazing - from suicide to salvation in one week. God is so good. This is just one more example of how what the Lord is doing in the lives of the students here at the school is making a difference in their families and home nations as well. We are also very aware that Belgium is one of the nations the school is going to on outreach this year and that this is only a firstfruits of the life that Yeshua is going to bring! Come Lord!

Streams Girl

2010-04-19T07:23:00.004-06:00

I have absolutely loved working on the Streams in the Desert events this year. Not only has it been stimulating for the side of me that loves to plan and organize things, but it has deepened my heart for this island as well. It is my third year living here and praying for Cyprus. I see that God has a divine purpose for this place and these people, but connecting on a deeper level hasn't always come easily for me. I've pressed through in intercession because I know that it's true, not so much because I feel it all in my heart. But at the last Streams event, God did something in me for Cyprus that I've never felt before. I know that I will carry this nation with me in intercession for the rest of my life. I consider it one of my biggest privileges to get to know the believers here. Because my job is very hands on emailing people the answers their inquiries and making announcements at our worship gatherings, I've begun to build relationships with these people, putting names and stories with the faces. And they've gotten to know me as well. Many will come up to me at an event and ask, "Are you the Chelsea from the emails?" Or if they see me somewhere else, they'll say "Oh, you're the Streams girl!" I love that. I love getting to know these precious people. I see what an honor it is and am so grateful for this opportunity.

Love that Tickles

2010-04-19T07:13:00.004-06:00

Last Saturday night worship, God came and heaven kissed us. Our worship time that closes out our shabbat are scheduled to last from 6 - 9pm, but often run into the wee hours of morning. Last night was one of these nights. After worship, some began to share testimonies of what the Lord did on a recent outreach into the Cypriot city of Paphos. Before we knew it, the Holy Spirit took control and a string of prophetic words were released for different members of the community. Some wept in the revelation of God's love, some groaned prostrate on the ground in intercession, and some were doubled over laughing in the joy of the Lord. As the hours went on and God continued to come and touch us, some of the kids began to drift off to sleep. Myrrh (the 5 year old daughter of our leaders) was laying in my lap fighting the sleep that was inevitable when she heard a new wave of laughter from the Lord break out. She suddenly sat up and asked "Why are they laughing?" I tried to explain to her that God was just showing them how much He loves them when she asked "Is God's love tickling them?" I smiled at the thought of it - the reality of heaven coming and tickling our hearts. Abba, I love your joy, come and tickle us with Your love!

Heidel Kiddos

2010-04-17T08:16:00.009-06:00

Every Thursday from 10 - 2 I have the privilege of baby-sitting these German darlings. Yahron, Aviel and Rebekah Joy are the blonde beauties of the Gateways Community and watching them is one of my favorite responsibilities. Also, due to the fact that they are more bilingual now than I could dream of being, they're helping me work on my German:)

One of their favorite activities is going on long walks along the winding streets of their mountain village, Trimiklini. This last week we came across the treasure of a line of caterpillars. It's so fun walking with the kids and rediscovering the small treasures in the world around us.

The kids also loved taking pictures with the self timer:)

Oh Cyprus, Stand with the Righteous!

2010-04-17T06:49:00.011-06:00

This past Saturday we had the opportunity to celebrate Jesus at the second Streams in the Desert event of the year, hosted at New Life International Church in the capitol city of Nicosia. An exciting part of this gathering was the afternoon seminars offered before the corporate worship in the evening. Our desire is to serve the people of God in any way that we can and have had requests on these topics. We do not assume to know everything or have all the answers but we do have a sincere desire to bless the body here on the island. Because this was the first time for these seminars, we had great expectations for what the Lord wanted to do during this time of equipping the saints and connecting to His heart in worship. We were not disappointed! The two seminars that took place simultaneously were powerfully anointed. Matthew shared with worship leaders and worship teams about how they can step into a new dimension of prophetic worship, while Pastor Norm shared on the glory of the Bridal intercessor in the place of intimate encounter with the Lord. Both seminars closed with ministry time and powerful prayers of impartation. There was so much immediate fruit from this time including a release of prophetic songs in the Greek language. We are so encouraged and believe that this is just the beginning of what the Lord wants to do in Cyprus!

The power and beauty of the afternoon carried right into the evening worship time when the Lord released His spirit on the people in the song and the dance. As we danced together, bringing an offering to the Lord, He led us into a time of intercession for the island where we cried out “Oh Cyprus, stand with the righteous!“ After worshiping through song and dance, we continued worshiping through exhortation from the Word. Matthew shared a burning message about God’s heart for this island that challenged us to throw off complacency and believe for what looks impossible to man. It is time to take a passionate stand for the Lord’s purposes and to align ourselves with them, no matter the cost. Many came forward at the end of the evening to receive prayer and prophetic ministry from the Lord.

Over the course of the day a prophetic word came forth about a stronghold over Cyprus being broken. We are believing and standing on this word, also knowing that something was also broken in our hearts for this island that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives. God tells us to just ask and He will give the nations to us. We are asking and believing for Cyprus, declaring to this people, “You belong to the Lord!“

Streams in the Desert - Extravagant Worship from GBI on Vimeo.

Mini Flight School

2010-03-07T05:00:00.002-07:00

It was Monday morning and I was on Mini Flight School (MFS) duty. MFS is the children's equipping ministry of the Gateways community. I enjoy this time with the kids, but wasn't prepared for the deep revelation I would receive that morning. The lesson was about creation and I was talking to the kids on a very elementary level about how God made night so that we can sleep and light so that we can see to work and play. And then three year old Trace interjected with "And God made light so that we can have new days!" I was taken aback by his comment and the revelation that it held. How good of the Father! As a sign of His renewed mercies, He chose to make new days. He didn't have to make beautiful sunrises that illuminate horizons, but He knew that the human heart needs fresh starts and new beginnings. He knew that we would sin and feel the weight of it, so He chose to give us a picture to help us understand His washing us clean. The cycle of sin, repentance, forgiveness and sanctification is shown in night and the light of a new day. What if He had made just one, long, never ending day where all the good and the bad just piled on top of each other. No rest, no fresh start. He knows us too well to create such a world.

Every time I think I know how good He is, He is better still. And He choses to reveal His goodness to me through theologians and three year olds.

Bright Star vs. The Young Victoria

2010-03-06T08:56:00.003-07:00

I recently watched the two movies Bright Star and The Young Victoria. These movies seem to have so much in common - both are period dramas based on true stories, taking place in England in the first half of the 19th century. The lead female characters are both eighteen and the male leads are in their mid twenties. Both films are rated PG are are free of explicit content. And yet with all their similarities, they are strikingly different.

My conscience did not allow me to love Bright Star. The film, which revolves around poet John Keats and his romantic attachment to Fanny Brawne, is made quite well and maintains historical accuracy, but my issue with it lies with Miss Brawne's character. Throughout the story, she proves herself to be immature, selfish and melodramatic. She continually pursues John Keats, handicapping his lead. He realizes that he can not afford to marry and attempts to safeguard Fanny's heart, but what she wants, she gets. It seemed as though the majority of her character was counter Kingdom and I could not endear myself to her.

Then we watched The Young Victoria. This film takes a deeper look into the time just before Queen Victoria's coronation at the age of eighteen through her marriage to and young married life with Prince Albert. Although Victoria's character is far from perfect, she displays the feminine grace and heart that is worthy of emulation. She allows Prince Albert to pursue her and conducts herself with guarded beauty. Their love story is founded on healthy femininity and masculinity, each fulfilling their proper role, allowing the other to thrive. These characters have quickly stolen my heart and this film has become one of my all time favorites.

What's the difference? What's the big deal? I have come to a place of frustration with the films that my generation in the church have fallen in love with. I'm not even talking about inappropriate content, although that is important. Both of these films were quite clean and bore the PG rating, but they conveyed such different messages. Selfishness vs. giveness - immaturity vs. responsibility - infatuation vs. ardent love. So many of the movies that young women claim are their favorite movies are the ones which glorify selfishness, rebellion, impurity, and deception. Don't even get me started on The Notebook! Shouldn't we be glorifying the love stories that line up with the Kingdom we profess to belong to. If we continue to be so enamored with the world's version of love, how can we expect to ever have something better? I believe more and more everyday that if we continue to indoctrinate ourselves with the cheap version of love all around us, it will surely be our fate.

Streams in the Desert

2010-03-06T08:03:00.003-07:00

One of my responsibilities with Gateways this year is organizing the Streams in the Desert events we host on the island. Two of our senior leaders are in charge of this ministry and I am their right hand girl. My job consists of reserving venues for future events, correspondence with believers and pastors on the island, publicity for events, managing the event blog, as well as all the details that go into putting on an event, as a ministry, for 200+ people. It's a lot of work, but I really love it and get to use the administrative gifting God's put in me. I love getting to know the Body of Messiah on this island and building relationships with them. I've started getting encouraging emails from them and am now identified as the "Streams girl" at island wide events. They're so sweet. Streams in the Desert events are about coming together and giving worship it’s rightful place once again, for Jesus never ceases to be worthy. Our aim is to unite the Body of Christ in Cyprus to take part in worship and intercession that changes the spiritual atmosphere. We had an amazing time at the Ajax Hotel on February 21st as believers from all over the island untied in something bigger than themselves. Power was released as a group of people, with the Spirit of the living God inside of them, cried out for a nation and a generation. We connected with the very heart of the Father, as He came near and lavished His affections on His Bride in Cyprus. Through that place of intimacy, there was birthed a strength to war in the spirit for God’s purposes in this country and region as a whole. It’s for Cyprus. It’s for the world.

Prayer Ministry

My bestie, Tab, running the projector

Me manning the info table & Matti and Remi ready to pray for people!

The Perks of Community

2010-03-06T07:17:00.005-07:00

One of the greatest joys of this year and a beloved perk of living a community lifestyle is seeing the work of God in my classmates (pictured). We have walked together for the last 3 years and to see them stepping into their destinies on new levels is a treasure to me. We are growing in unity and relationship with one another through serving and learning together. When one of them receives a break through, my eyes fill with tears of joy just as their own do. I can not help but believe that this is the way the Father intended the church to operate. Believers walking side by side, holding each other up in difficult times, and dancing with them in the joyous ones. So often we only see people once a week at church where we drop the "Christian f-word" to each other,

"How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm fine."

We fake our way through it all week after week. But in community, there's no faking it. If you're not walking in the truth of God's Word, there's at least a dozen people who will notice and love you enough to call you out on it. I was called out on something last week. It was painful and my flesh would have preferred my friend stay silent, but they knew that I needed to get it right. The moment I repented I could literally feel the difference. My stoney heart softened and the presence of God came rushing in like a flood. Perhaps it's time to stop being afraid of offending people and start speaking into their lives out of love. Let us set aside Christian camaraderie and start practicing Biblical accountability. Because although it may be uncomfortable having others close enough to see the bad, it is life to the soul to also have them cheering you on in the good.

Grace Everywhere

2010-03-05T02:05:00.004-07:00

The Toyota Rav4. It's a cute, little, inconspicuous SUV. I had never really noticed them, that is until we got one. All of a sudden they were everywhere! On the highway, in the parking lot, up the street. Where did all these Rav 4s come from? Why had I never noticed them before?

Isn't it funny how that happens? In a day we can go from being oblivious of something, to being completely mesmerized by it. Saturday night we were exhorted that it's the same way with grace. Often times I take God's grace for granted in my life. It's sad to say, but true. It is the treasured gift of Heaven and I can go too long without identifying it in my life and giving thanks for it. But when I stop and take the time to see Yeshua's rich grace that He's lavished on my life, I start seeing it everywhere! I can't stop seeing His goodness. It's an unending cycle that I love falling into! But it all starts with pausing from the craziness of life and choosing to look on His goodness with a grateful heart.

Home Sweet Cyprus

2010-02-26T03:52:00.005-07:00

I thought you all might like to see a little bit of where my life

happens here in Cyprus. I love it so much and definitely feel "home" here.

This is our new base! It was previously a restaurant and we still get Cypriot visitors every now and then wanting a table, but all in all, we love it! We are much more in the open than ever before, but feel that this is God's will for us in this season.

This is the intersection that our base sits on. To the left leads to our base and to the right is our offices. This intersection is the crossroads to the 4 main villages in our area.

This is the road that I make my 15 minute walk on to the base everyday...

This is my house! For the past two years, I have lived in the townhouse on the left, but this year, the middle one is our abode. The room I share with my Scottish friend, Gwen, is the second floor balcony, behind the tree. I live there along with the other 5 intern girls pictured below:)

Valentines Day

2010-02-25T09:27:00.017-07:00

Valentines Day - a holiday that many might assume to be discouraged at a discipleship school with a strict commitment to pure consecrated living during these six set apart months, was celebrated with the most brotherly of affection this year. The intern ladies enjoyed a roof-top Valentines Day celebration from the one and only male intern, Tony. This annual gesture of phileo love was much appreciated by hearts and taste buds alike! Can I just say that I love being able to celebrate and have fun without all the drama of relationships and romantic attachment?! It was so fun to laugh and share in phileo love for one another. Enjoy the photos!

I like to believe that this says "Happy Valentine's Day!" in Greek:)

Our entertainment was a video of our Gigue (talent show) from 2008 - so funny!

You're good. The end.

2010-02-24T23:29:00.001-07:00

I tend to over-analyze just about everything. This is something that I am getting much better at, especially in the practice of worship. Sometimes I get so caught up in meanings of the exact words I’m singing that I lose focus of Who I’m singing them to.

Then, a few days ago in morning worship, the Holy Spirit gave me a spontaneous song that made me laugh out loud. The words flowed out of me.

I’m not going to use my mind - to over think this.

I won’t analyze - for this is Spirit to spirit.

You’re good.

That’s it. He’s good. The end. No analyzing His goodness - no trying to understand the impossible greatness of it. Just simple belief and praise. Thank you Lord Jesus that You are beyond what I can understand and are teaching me to accept that fact.

Sisters of the Common Life

2010-02-24T22:50:00.003-07:00

Last week in our VVC (Vision, Values, & Convictions) class, we were challenged to look at rules of life. These are often monastic rules, orders, and resolutions. We were encouraged to seek inspiration from those who have gone before as we began forming and drafting our own rules of life that we want to be held accountable for. I was immediately drawn to my hero, Amy Carmichael. She formed an order of young women in India that gave up everything to champion the Gospel. These valiant young women were called the Sisters of the Common Life. May you be as challenged by their commitments as I was and inspired to write your own.

My Vow.

Whatsoever Thou sayest unto me, by Thy grace I will do it.

My Constraint.

Thy love, O Christ, my Lord.

My Confidence.

Thou art able to keep that which I have committed unto Thee.

My Joy.

To do Thy will, O God.

My Discipline.

That which I would not choose, but which Thy love appoints.

My Prayer.

Conform my will to Thine.

My Motto.

Love to live, live to love.

My Portion.

The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance.

Teach us, good Lord, to serve Thee as Thou deservedst, to give and not to count the cost, to fight and not to heed the wounds, to toil and not to seek for rest, to labor and not to ask for any reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will, O Lord our God.

The Ever Fixed Mark

2010-02-23T08:20:00.002-07:00

Have you ever witnessed a couple who shared a mature love for each other? I'm not speaking of a weak and indecisive attachment, but a love that has been tenderly chosen at the beginning of everyday. A love that has become sweeter and more valuable with time, like a rich bottle of aged wine. It is not a flimsy love that you are likely to fall out of as fast as you fell into it, but a consistent devotion. Or as Shakespeare put it, "an ever fixed mark." Those who participate in such a love develop a transparency that bonds them together as one being. They are not the couple whose co-dependant infatuation not only makes you feel uncomfortable and isolated, but annoying nauseated as well. No, they are the couple that you admire, that you want to emulate. There is something holy in their love, in the way they've given themselves to one another in complete selflessness. The sincerity of their love makes their pet names of affection and habit of finishing each other's sentences beautiful, rather than annoying. It is a testimony to the years they have spent together on their journey to oneness.

I want this enduring love to summarize my relationship with Yeshua. That I would know Him as intimately as He knows me. Oh that I would be acquainted with His heart! That I would come to Him in vulnerable transparency, resting under his wings of love and riding on His waves of grace. I do not want a spiritual experience, quick to come and soon to fade. No, I want the testimony of a consistent life of love. I want the daily encounter with God's face that not only changes me for today, but for eternity. Not a quick fix or fast high, but the character that comes through the cycle of repentance and redemption, rooted and grounded in love. His dreams would become my own and His heartbeat my life's cadence. And through day after day of intentional and devoted affection, I would come to the place that I am finishing God's sentences.

Tears, Truth and E-mails

2010-02-09T08:42:00.002-07:00

I like doing a good job. Things like perfect records and 4.0's are important to me. When viewing this part of me from the perspective of doing things with a spirit of excellence, this is a great thing. But when it stems from the perfectionist side of me - with its striving and insecurities - it's deadly.

I've been given many responsibilities since starting my internship with Gateways Beyond. I love the work, despite the fact that I can't remember my brain being this tired since final exams in college. Friday was the climax of my first week. My assignment? Send two emails promoting a worship event we're having on the island and complete some research projects. Sounds simple, even elementary... or so I thought. To make a 4 and a half hour saga short enough for this blog, the task proved more difficult than I had originally anticipated. Due to new programs, computer freezes, formatting errors and internet failures, it took me four and a half hours to send those two emails. And in my mind, the worst part of it all was having to ask for help. I loathed having to make one phone call after the other to leaders and supervisors at home with their families because I could not find the answers to my technical problems on my own. After about 4 hours, I was exhausted. Although I had not done much physical activity apart from running from my desk to the phone, I felt like my mind had run a marathon and I was no closer to getting out of this predicament. The light at the end of the tunnel seemed non-existent. These two emails were time sensitive and needed to go out that night. While my room mates were at home get dressed and beautified for that night's shabbat dinner, I was sitting the office, in my jeans - unshowered and disheartened. I wanted to be the girl that always has it together. That the leaders would say, "Oh we know Chelsea can do it - we trust her." I wanted to report back that I had finished every task I'd been given and then some. I wanted to do everything perfectly. And here I was, glaring at my computer screen - my brain bursting with frustration and my eyes welling up with tears.

And then there was that still small voice, "Chelsea, your worth is not found in your work. It's not about how good of a job you do. Your worth is found in My love." How had I missed it? How had I been so foolish? How had I forgotten love? I had allowed stress to not only enter in, but completely take control - to the point that I was CRYING about two emails! I stopped, took a deep breath, repented and allowed the love of the Father to wash over me. I listened as He spoke truth to my soul. I am good enough without my work because I have Him. My leadership loves me - not for the job I do - but for who I am in Christ. I have a measure of grace each day to accomplish my tasks, I need only to rest in that truth and rely on Jesus in every part of my day. At that point, something shifted in the room. Despair and insecurity no longer resided - hope and confidence in Christ had moved in. Within 30 minutes, I had finished my work and was on my way to shabbat dinner. My room mates graciously brought me some dress clothes and I made a quick change in the bathroom, which made me feel a bit like Superman, minus the super part. I sat down at the table just in time to see the them light the candles - signifying the beginning of shabbat. I was able to exhale. Peace... and more tears, only this time they came from a different place - not from discouragement, but from a knowledge that I am found in the love of God. He provides for me in every situation, from finances to healing - salvation to emails.

Stewarding Your Sphere

2010-02-02T08:27:00.003-07:00

This morning in our staff meeting we were exhorted to be good stewards of our sphere. We all have the ability to chose the state of the atmosphere that we carry with us. We can choose to make it a sphere of life, or one of death - and when people come into contact with us, they are affected by our choice. Do you know those people that after you've spent time with them, you just feel better? They carry life, joy and peace in the Holy Spirit. It's like you not only spent time with them, but with the jesus in them. And I'm sure that you also know those people who leave you feeling just as depressed and pessimistic as they are. As staff and interns in the Gateways ministry, we want to carry life in our atmospheres that will overflow into the lives of the students here, but this is not applicable in our context alone. What if your boss, spouse, teacher or checker at the grocery store had an encounter with the loving life of Jesus, simply by coming into contact with the atmosphere that you have fostered through worship and prayer? What if we started taking the Bible seriously and God at His Word? What if the world really was transformed by the unchanging love of a Beatitude styled life? What if all of our "what if's" started today?

Jesus Christ is Coming to Town!

2010-01-29T06:06:00.001-07:00

It's been over a month now since the close of the Christmas season and I still can't get something out of my mind. I was at work one day in December, in the middle of a sit with a child less than thrilled about having his picture taken (I work as a photographer in a studio), and instead of disciplining her child for his unruly behavior, his exasperated mother informed her child, "You need to obey me right now because Santa Clause is watching! If you're not good, he won't bring you any presents this year!" The little boy immediately straightened up for his picture and even gave me a half smile through the tears leftover from his tantrum. I was amazed and a little disgusted. I was struck with how much power the idea of Santa had over this kid. I was reminded of a conversation I had with someone a few weeks earlier when we heard the song "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" on the radio. My friend commented that the tune made Santa sound like divinity, and this little incident at work proved their observation frighteningly true. But think about how wonderfully different it would have been if that mother had said something like, "Jesus loves you more than you can imagine and He is coming back soon because He wants to be with you so badly. He has given you a mommy and daddy, a house, and food to eat because He loves you so much and the way we show Him that we love Him back is by obeying Him. But remember that we do not obey to make Jesus love us, we obey because He loves us." What a difference?! The former was all about instilling the fear of disobedience and the latter instills the hope of Jesus.

What if the second coming was our motivation? The fact of the matter is that Jesus said that He is coming SOON (Revelation 22) and if we live in any way that is contrary to believing that He is coming soon, we are not being obedient to scripture. Let us not get wrapped up in the anticipation of the world. We are waiting for something far better that Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny. People, Jesus Christ is coming to town! Let's get excited about it, for He does not want to come for a Bride that is indifferent about His coming.

Santa Clause's got nothing on my Jesus.

Revival Vacation

2009-09-25T13:30:00.010-06:00

Today my lovely friend Maureen and I went on a little Swiss adventure. Maureen has been a wonderful host to me, making my time in Switzerland most enjoyable. Today was no different. Our destination was Stiftsbibliothek in the nearby town, St. Gallen. The bibliothek is the oldest monastic library in the world. There were books dating 1,000, and even 1,500 years back! For a book lover such as myself, it was amazing.

As I looked around the ornate room in awe, I had a flashback to my childhood years and felt that I was Belle, being ushered into Beast's library for the first time (come on Beauty and the Beast fans... you know what I'm talking about!). It was breathtaking. We were required to wear these little slippers over our shoes to protect the books from dust.

I browsed the hundreds of books containing beautiful theological truths under the cover of the ornately frescoed ceiling. Definitely a highlight of the trip for me.

After exiting the museum, we had a picnic lunch in the garden. As I prayed to thank God for the food, a whole other prayer began to pour out of me. I asked Abba that as tourists walked through that wonderful room, full of historic beauty, they would be struck with the reality of what those books hold. That is would no longer just be a tourist attraction, but a place where they would have a heavenly encounter with the Holy Spirit. That these books of yesteryear that hold the truths of our very present God would not be just one more image in the blur of a European vacation, but that those truths would supernaturally jump off the page and into their hearts forever. The Stiftsbibliothek was, after all, a place that was used to study the Word of God and the theology of the Christ's Church - why can't it be again? People shuffle past these books in their little slippers and ow and awe over their beauty, remaining completely ignorant to the true beauty of the Gospel. I know that Jesus is bigger than that and today my prayer is that He would show up and show off just how alive He is today in that library.

So much of European history revolves around Christianity. Granted, not all of it is pretty history, but what if it stopped being stories of dead people and started being encounters with the living God. I want to start hearing stories of people on vacation touring Europe having radical encounters with the Holy Spirit! That churches, cathedrals and monastic libraries would harbor such a thick presence of God, that people's lives would never be the same! Oh that the ancient wells of Europe would spring up today! Wouldn't it be great to have revival European vacations?!

Last year, while in Germany with GTS, we visited the church in Wittenberg where Martin Luther mailed his 95 theses. After a powerful worship time inside the church, we had a time of prayer outside. Holy Spirit came and touched our hearts. People were laid out on the sidewalk under the power of God. And where were we causing such a heavenly scene? Right in front of the door where Luther nailed his theses... yeah, that door. Other tourists were literally having to step over members of our team to get their picture taken by the famous door!

That's what I want to see again! I want people to know that God did not die in the 18th century! He is living and active! Spring up oh well in Europe!

ELAV Day 3

2009-09-02T03:49:00.002-06:00

First of all, I must apologize for the tardiness of this update. After the conference ended, the staff went into a coma of sorts to rest and recuperate after pouring out so much during ELAV. 17 hour days full of hard work in the hot sun was exhausting, but so worth it! In these recent days following the conference, some have been describing it as an atomic bomb of Holy Spirit that has been dropped on the youth of Israel.

The third day of the conference started with a miraculous worship set led by my friend James. He had lost his voice earlier in the week and then had it miraculously healed in time for his set. Thank you so much for all you who prayed! Matt Gilman also led us in an amazing worship time before our morning session with Heidi Baker. Heidi spoke on the spirit of adoption and the link between identity and courage. Using powerful examples from her own life in Mozambique, she shared with us that when you know that you're adopted, you're not afraid anymore. And in Hebrew, the root word for adoption, is the same root word for courage. She charged the youth to know who they are in Abba and with sureness of that reality, to step out with boldness in their culture. This is such an import message for this generation at this time in Israel. Afterwards, there was a time of prayer and ministry for the youth. Many were getting touched, but there was still a level of breakthrough that we were not tapping into. Then Rick Ridings (founder of Succat Hallel), very wisely and in obedience to the Holy Spirit, led us in the direction of praying specifically for the IDF soldiers among us. Many of these kids are barely out of high school and have been trained to shut off their emotions and become very hard - making times like these, when the Spirit of God wants to come in, very difficult. As we began to minister to these soldiers, Holy Spirit just broke out and began touching them. We had Palestinian youth and even young men from Gaza praying for IDF soldiers! The only way this could happen is in Yeshua! It was an amazing thing to see these soldiers with machine guns strapped to their backs, break down in tears as Abba came and touched them with their love. It is said that almost no soldiers leave their time in the army with their virginity or their faith in Yeshua. Please keep these young people in your prayers, the need is great.

Saturday was an extra special day because it was Heidi Baker's 50th birthday! It was a joy to spend this special day with her and she enters her year of jubilee. We sang for her in English and Hebrew and had a sweet time of blessing her.

In the afternoon, Joaquin Evans from Bethel Church in Redding CA shared with the youth about the ministry of healing - allowing God to come and make it easier than we think. The youth really responded to Joaquin's laid back style and sincerity. Many have been inspired and encouraged to take the power of Yeshua to the streets of their cities. After Joaquin's session, he had a time of impartation to the youth and of course, a time to pray for the sick. We saw blown out knees completely restored, backs healed, hearing loss restored, TMJ healed and more! It was powerful to see the youth pray for each other - Arab and Jew contending for each other's miracle. This is the kingdom in action.

The conference closed out with Asher Intrater's session. Asher is a local Messianic leader and an international speaker/author. He did not come to the conference to give these kids a cotton candy message that would make them feel good. No, he brought something that is offensive to the flesh and life to the soul - truth. He spoke about how many of us know the kind, sweet Yeshua. He is a Galilean hippie with children on His lap and flowers in His hand. But there is another side of Yeshua that we must know - the Lion of the tribe of Judah that will soon be touching down on the Mount of Olives with a sword in His mouth and blood on His robe. We must know this Yeshua, or we will not recognize Him at His coming. Asher passionately exhorted the youth to serve their flesh a death blow, giving up the things of this world that make provision for the old man and choosing to live lives completely surrender to the King. Conviction swept over the crowd and lives will never be the same. We finally wrapped up at about midnight and called the Kennes Elav 2009 to a close.

Believe with us that this weekend was a turning point for the youth of this nation. That there will be outbreak of revival in Israel, bringing with it signs and wonders. God met us out in the Baptist Village in a powerful way, but this is not just about a conference - a mountaintop experience that soon loses it's potency. No, this is about the coming of Yeshua's Kingdom and it's firm establishment in this nation. Join us in intercession for this Israeli generation. We believe that God has great things in store for them and want to partner with Him in seeing it.

Thank you all so much for the faithful prayers that you have sowed into this conference and ministry. God is doing big things and He wants us to be a part of it. Take up the mantle. Join the battle. The journey is an adventure and the victory, a sure thing.

ELAV Day 2

2009-08-28T16:18:00.002-06:00

Today was an amazing day. It was filled with worship, impartation and the Spirit of God. That's been something that has really struck me about this conference - the Holy Spirit's presence has been so strong and thick in a ll the worship times and sessions. It's amazing to be in His presence. Getting out out of Jerusalem and experiencing this sweet presence made me realize how in need of refreshing I was! My eyes do not stay dry for long in the worship times, for I am so overcome by His goodness to come and meet me again and again.

It seemed like unity was our theme today. We had worship sets in Hebrew, Arabic and English! Very exciting. We had a special time of prayer with the youth, where Jews prayed for gentiles and vice versa - just blessing each other. Tonight was a big night in the fact that we had Matt Gilman (IHOP KC) lead worship and our speaker was Heidi Baker. It was POWERFUL! Matt lead an amazing time that had hundreds of us dancing, completely undignified for our King, and then on our knees weeping in awe of God's holiness. It was so anointed and Holy Spirit was moving. Heidi Baker spoke about how sometimes it takes realizing just how blind we are to able to be used by God to heal the blind. The evening ended with an intense fire tunnel. For those of you who are not familiar with this form of prayer ministry, a fire tunnel is when people (the youth in this case) walk in between 2 rows of people (the leaders of the conference and spiritual leaders in Israel) to receive prayer and laying on hands. It was a great time for the youth to receive impartation from the generations ahead of us and opened the door for Holy Spirit to come in and taking control - changing lives forever.

We also heard two exciting healing testimonies today from Israeli youth. An Ethiopian Jewish guy who prayed for a deaf and mute Arab guy who was healed and a Jewish young woman who prayed for a blind man who was healed! More Lord! It IS happening! Continuing praying that God will use His people to bring healing and blessing to the nations and that He would raise up this generation!

A quick praise report - James, one of our worship leaders who had lost his voice at the beginning of the week is feeling much better and will be able to lead his set tomorrow morning! Thank you to all of you who prayed! This was a great healing from Abba.

Another quick prayer point - A prophetic word came out today through Esther Ridings (daughter of Rick and Patti Ridings, founders of Succat Hallel) about the spirits over this nation. A spirit of rejection, a spirit of hopelessness and a spirit of death. I can testify to how true these are and how much they need to be removed through intercession and spiritual warfare. Please join us!

Well, it's another full day tomorrow! Please be praying that our last day goes great, that the youth will seize every opportunity to get what God has for them this weekend and that everything will run smoothly. Good night and Shabbat Shalom!

P.S. Here's a video of Matt Gilman singing one of the songs that he palyed tonight - "Holy" It was such a powerful time of worship and I wanted you all to experience part of it. Enjoy!

ELAV Day 1

2009-08-27T16:44:00.004-06:00

Well, it's almost 2am here in Israel and I'm home from the first day of the Elav youth conference. Thank you so much to everyone who is praying! We need it! The conference is off to a great start though. All the youth arrived today who are staying at the venue, and so far, there have been no major glitches. A few scares, but God had been so faithful and it was a great day! After just the first session, many of the youth are already being touched by Abba. We had two brothers (who for security reasons must remain nameless) from Gaza share testimonies of what God is doing there and the growing number of believers. It was so powerful to see their Jewish brothers and sisters surround them to pray and lay hands on them. Itzhak Mor-Haim shared a powerful word about our need to be available and willing to live the life of a servant for God to use us. Many of the youth were compelled and we saw Holy Spirit moving in them. Please keep praying for us. All the staff and volunteers are staying very busy during the days, so pray that we feel supernaturally rested by the time we need to be back on the bus in the morning - just six short hours from now. Pray especially for the spiritual warfare we are experiencing. The conference this year falls during Ramadan, the Muslim holiday. Satan would like nothing more than to defeat us in someway during this time. Pray for continued grace and peace over the conference as a whole and all involved. We're off to a great start and can't wait for the next two days! But I must be off to bed or I won't make it through them! Thank you for all your prayer love and support. If you have any questions about the conference or how you can be praying, feel free to comment or email me at chelsea_nunnenkamp@hotmail.com

Also, check out this promo video for the conference - it will give you a small taste of what's going on ever here!

Face to Face with Destiny

2009-08-26T09:07:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel like you've come face to face with your destiny? Like you are suddenly struck with the reality that the opportunity that lies in front of you is what you were created to do at this point in history? It's a pretty awesome feeling and I had one this week.

Since moving to Israel, I have had a lot of trouble sleeping. I think that it's probably a combination of the heat, the mosquitoes, my mattress and the spiritual atmosphere of this city. On the nights that I can't sleep I normally lie awake in silence until I can't take it any longer, and then I decide that if I'm going to be up in the middle of the night, I might as well do something productive. I return emails, read, or listen to a teaching. I had one such this past week. I was able to pick up one bar of wifi signal in my room from our neighbors - this in and of itself is quite the feat. I opened up my browser and soon found myself on a website reading about an internship opportunity here in Israel. It's with a legal organization that fights for the civil rights of Messianic Jews, living in Israel, that are being persecuted for their faith in Yeshua. Just sitting in my room, in the dark, in the middle of the night, reading about this opportunity on my computer, I began to cry. That's not normal. When's the last time you cried while reading about a legal internship online? Yeah, it doesn't happen everyday. But it happened that night, because I was coming face to face with my destiny. Yes, I really want to be a part of this organization and internship. I have a love for law, justice and government, but it's not so much about this particular internship as it is about the whole picture.

Over the course of this past year, God has really been speaking to me about the role He's calling me to play in the political world. I've always had a love for government. I made my mom take a picture of me on the first day I voted (an off year election), I watch Fox News for fun and I read Ronald Regan's auto-biography at age 16. I love it, but I never thought I could really pursue it. It always seemed just a little out of my league. I didn't feel adequate to be involved. But this year, Abba has been revealing to me that He's given me that passion for a reason - a reason that will ultimately further His Kingdom and bring glory to His name. I feel a new release and prompting to pursue what God has for me in the realm of politics. The past several months have brought prophetic words and pictures about God's call on me for government. He's been impressing it on me more and more, giving me the dreams of His heart for this sphere of influence and it all crescendoed that night in my room, crying with my laptop. It was like the Holy Spirit was saying, "Be encouraged dear one, there's a perfect fit for you. These are the desires I've placed in you. There are others who's heart burn for the same things your does." I just had this peace in my spirit and I knew that He was revealing the next step. He was making it a little clearer and shedding some light on how I should proceed. It was an amazing moment. In the days following this night, it seems as though things have been falling into place right and left. I feel like I have clear direction on how to fulfill the purposes that God has for me in my generation. He's done it in a beautiful way that gives Him glory, meets the desires of my heart and makes the more economic and practical sense than anything I could have come up with in my own. I have a five year plan. Crazy.

Now it's important to note that this is what I'm feeling God say right now, and the plans could change - God does that. But when I first felt God telling me that my pie in the sky dream to somehow be involved in politics wasn't so unrealistic, I didn't understand how it could ever work. I just kept thinking about how much school I was going to need and the timing and logistics. But I waited on the Lord, I laid it on the altar what felt like daily and committed my way to Him. And in the end, He gave it all back to me in the most perfect way. He is so faithful and capable.

I'm really excited about this next season and the plans that God is revealing. And He's showing my that the desires and passions that I have are placed in me, by Him, for His glory! What an awesome God we have! So what are your passions? What does your heart burn for? Chances are, it's not a coincidence. I believe that God wants us to enjoy the work that He's called us to. Ministry isn't more holy if you're miserable doing it... it's just miserable. Ask God how He wants you to use the gifts, passions and talents He's given you. Ask Him to bring you face to face with your destiny. It's pretty great.

Downtown Healing

2009-08-17T18:04:00.000-06:00

One evening a few weeks ago, I was walking in the city with some friends and I passed a woman sitting at the bus stop with two walking canes. I immediately heard the internal voice of the Holy Spirit tell me to go and pray for her healing. So I stopped dead in my tracks, handed my things off to my friend and approached this older woman. I introduced myself, (thankfully she spoke English, because my Hebrew isn't at that level yet) mentioned that I had noticed her canes, and asked her the reason for them. She explained that she has suffered from rheumatoid arthritis in her back and both knees for many years. I shared with her the work that Yeshua has done for her and that He wants her to live without this pain. She smiled, patted me on the hand, and matter of factly stated, "Oh, honey, a life without pain would be impossible for me." Impossible...huh? I smiled right back at her and stated a fact of my own, "All things are possible with God." At this point I was getting excited to see how God was going to show up. She consented to me praying for her and even allowed me to lay my hands on the areas of pain. (When you have a true revelation that you carry the Spirit of the Living God Who created the Heavens and the Earth living inside of you, you want to lay your hands on sick people!) I prayed a simple prayer, but full of faith. After asking her to test her back and knees for the pain, she said "I feel comfort in my body and I can't feel the pain!" Hallelujah! I explained that the Comforter is the Holy Spirit of God and we talked about Yeshua for a bit. I encouraged her to continue checking her body over the next few days and to know that when the pain wasn't there, God's Son Yeshua the Messiah, has healed her. After that, she got on her bus and I rejoined my friends who had been faithfully praying a little ways off on the sidewalk.

You see, this is the life of the normal Christian. When we, who have Jesus in us, come into contact with people who are sick, it creates an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to show up and show off His love for humanity. Sick people + Jesus is always a good combination. I'm not a super Christian - I didn't spend an hour in prayer before I approached this woman, I wasn't fasting for her healing (in fact, we were on our way to dinner!) and I had even sinned that day. I'm just a girl who loves Jesus and is willing to step out in faith that others may also know His great love. With my Abba, everyday is "take your daughter to work day."

So be encouraged! We serve a God that heals the sick, raise the dead and delivers the oppressed. Step out today. Sick people are simply opportunities for God to show His love. But you may be asking... what if they don't get healed after I step out and pray for someone, especially in public? Won't I feel silly, or worse yet, won't that make God look bad? But I ask, if God does heal someone we pray for, can we take credit for that? Of course not! That also means that we don't have to take responsibility if He doesn't. It's really, really not about us. And if they don't get healed, what's the worse that happens? They meet someone passionately in love with Jesus, and full of radical faith, telling them that God loves them. Not bad.

My Revelation Summer

2009-08-13T12:16:00.011-06:00

God speaks to all of us in different ways. One of the ways He speaks to me is by giving me themes for certain seasons in my life. My first year at the Gateways Beyond Training School, the theme He gave me was Spring - the winter was over and it was time to step into the new life that was waiting for me in the Spirit. It was an amazing time of healing, unveiling and discovering the Holy Spirit. This past year at Gateways, it was all about being a Living Sacrifice - learning to live to die. Dying to my flesh, for Him. In Ethiopia, the theme was Mercy - that through the mercy given to me, God would have mercy on others. Well, when I got to Israel in June, I began to ask Abba what the theme was for this season. I had big expectations for my first summer actually living in Jerusalem, and being part of the House of Prayer no less. Yes, I had high hopes. Something that I love about the themes for my life that God gives me, is that they connect everything He teaches me over several months time into one fluid transformation. I love looking back on those times and seeing how He wove all my experiences together for the purpose of teaching me that virtue. I believe Jesus intimately knows me and knows that my analytical mind loves being able to view life in this organized manner:)

Well, this summer, my theme did not manifest itself right away. I waited and prayed and asked God what He had for me this summer. But I was given no answer... and then I began to worry a bit. This is where I lost sight of the path. Jesus is always faithful, I must simply take the next step towards Him and He will reveal Himself. But in my efforts to find out what God wanted to teach me in this season... I stopped looking at God. Ironic, isn't it? I felt that I didn't want to come across the world and live in the City of Zion for three months only to miss what God had for me. I played around with different ideas of what it could be, but none seemed to fit. I can't force God - but sometimes, to my shame, I try.

But here's the beautiful part. One night, I went to the prayer room and just laid it all out on the altar before the Lord. I realized the folly of my forcefulness and spent some time in teary eyed repentance. I realized that even if I spent the whole summer in Jerusalem and I didn't hear God's voice once or feel anything, I would still choose to serve and worship Him. After all, even in His silence, He is worthy! I needed to come to that place - to say that even if I don't feel it, I'll still come to my watches in the prayer room everyday and pour out all my worship on You, Jesus. He must hold a higher place than my feelings.

Well, in His typical divine fashion, Jesus showed up loud and clear just one week later and gave me the summer of 2009's theme. This is my Revelation Summer.

It was the night of July 22nd. I was spending the evening with friends Sam and Rachel. Sam was in Israel touring and Rachel is living with and serving the Benjamin family. The Benjamins are leading Succat Hallel's internship program and have become what I affectionately call my "Israel Parents" :) The three of us had just eaten and were sitting in the living room just hanging out. We were talking about something related to Jesus (a favorite topic of mine) and the end times were brought up. I mentioned that I wished I had a better handle on the timeline of the last days. I've heard so many different teachings and feel a little hazy in my eschatology. Well my friend Sam, being the fellow Jesus lover and all around great guy that he is, pulled out his Bible. What happened over the next several hours was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life thus far. The three of us read through the entire book of Revelation of the course of the night. Sam walked us through the book and stopped along the way for the questions I had (which for those of you who know me, were many!). We worshipped and wept our way through the night. We'd move from deep theology to giddy excitement concerning the coming of Jesus. There were times that we couldn't stay seated because the adrenaline it created in us and other times that we couldn't even speak because the presence of God was so thick in the room. When we got to the end of the book and I saw the great love of the Father in His desire to come down and once again dwell with His children, I was overcome. To think of His beautiful unrelenting love; that He created us to dwell with Him in the garden of Eden, but we separated ourselves from Him with our sin. But He did not stop there. No, His love was too strong. He sent His Son once to open up the way for us to go to Him. And He will send His Son again to prepare the way for Him to come to us. What beautiful pursual. What unrelenting love.

Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. Revelation 21:3

I couldn't keep the tears from streaming down my face in light of His love. My body trembled in His presence and I could do nothing but cry and sit in awe of Him for some time. Sam sat with the contented serene look that comes with the presence of the Holy Spirit and the room was silent, apart from the sniffles I could hear coming from Rachel's direction. She'd had an experience with God that night that mirrored the beauty of my own. That night was about Revelation... Revelation of Jesus. He was is and always will be the central focus. We finished just as the sky was beginning to lighten, and decided to go up to the balcony to watch the sun rise over the city.

At some point while we were up there, it hit us. We are watchmen. And we're standing on a wall. And we've given ourselves no rest. And we're here in Jerusalem asking God to establish her as a praise in the earth! (Isaiah 62) Now that may seem all very simple and possibly even boring to you, but we were geeking out! Have you ever had one of those moments when you realize that you're living out scripture? It's pretty cool. We just kept saying, "We're on a wall... in Jerusalem... as Watchmen!" Some might argue that our extreme sleep deprivation may have had something to do with this, but I like to believe that it was the Holy Spirit. As the sun rose over the Mount of Olives, we spoke scripture over the city, sang worship songs and asked Jesus to come quickly. I thought of the passage in Malachi that says the sun of righteousness will arise with healing in its wings. Yes, arise Lord Yeshua!

We finally went to bed around 7 am; our schedules were a little crazy that day. We woke up early afternoon and had a breakfast/lunch/dinner meal at 4 pm. We discussed the night and felt that it had all been a bit surreal. Like, did that really happen? But, indeed it had, in all its wonderful glory!

That night was a definitive moment in my summer... in my life. A couple days later I hear the voice of the Lord tell me that this summer was about revelation - both the book and the experience of Jesus Christ being revealed more an more to my heart. It's been a wonderful time. I've been consuming the Word, listening to great teachings and dialoguing with friends about the mysteries of this exciting book. I even put the audio Bible book of Revelation on my ipod so that I can listen to it as I walk in the city. Holy Spirit has been teaching me so much and I'm loving every minute of it. And ya know what? I'm not afraid of missing it anymore? I have not missed what God has for me this summer - no, I'm enjoying every part of it.

What does God have for you in this season? What beautiful truth does He want to unveil to your heart? I don't recommend chasing after it in anxiety as I did at first, but I do encourage you to wait on the Lord and listen when you hear His voice... even if it takes all night.

Little Brother. Man of Courage. Son of God

2009-08-10T03:56:00.004-06:00

Today is my little brother Travis' 18th birthday. I suppose that I can't really call him little anymore. A couple years ago he finally passed me in height and it was several years ago that he passed me in strength, which gave me quite the disadvantage in our wrestling matches. But over the years Travis has not only grown physically. He has grown in strength of Spirit and character as well. It's been an amazing thing to watch. What a gift God gives us in siblings. For the last 18 years, I have had a daily front row seat to see the work of Jesus in another's life. Rarely do we get to see so deep into someone's life as with our family, not even the closest friend can compare. Admit-ably, I have not always treasured this beautiful opportunity. In our growing up years I displayed my fair share of selfishness and unkind behavior, but I am grateful to the Father that He has brought so much healing and I have come to the place where I can truly appreciate my family.

This is one of those days that I wish I could be home with my family, even if it was just 24 hours. I wish I could be with my brother on this special day. Travis isn't a little boy anymore. He is becoming a man. A man after God's heart. A man of worship. A man of courage. A man with valiant strength and a tender heart. I am so proud of that man. I could go on about him for a long time. I sometimes playfully, yet affectionately refer to him in conversation as the "golden boy". Travis has played and excelled in almost ever sport you can think of - basket ball, baseball, football, soccer, even BMX. He recently placed in the top 5 at Nationals for archery. He plays guitar and piano. This last year was his first year in public school and you guessed it... honor roll. He is a young man full of talent and heart. Don't get me wrong, he's not perfect, he's still got plenty of teenage guy in him, but he's special one.

I remember funny things from the years past - going snowboarding together, having pizza and movie parties when our parents were out, the first time I ever rode in his car and he was driving (this was a very surreal experience!), liking the same music, all the little girls in our youth group having a crush on the quiet cute guy with that beautiful curly hair. When it was revealed that was in fact this heart throb's sister, I was immediately surrounded with fainthearted 9th grade girls asking a myriad of questions about him. The beauty of this silly situation is that when asked about his feelings toward his adoring fanclub, Travis responded with something like "I'm in 9th grade and can't get married right now. There's no point of me getting into a relationship with a girl if there's no possibility of us getting married." Travis is still committed to that and confidently states to this day that the only girl he's kissed is his mommy. Trust me, it has not been for lack of opportunity! He's turned into quite the man of conviction and I couldn't be more proud.

Travis plans on attending Bethel Church's School of Supernatural Ministry after he finishes his senior year of high school this next spring. I am so blessed to hear that my brother is pursuing the things of God in this way. I've sown many prayers into his life over the last few years and am thrilled with the path he's choosing to walk. And I can't wait to come visit him at Bethel!

I got to talk to Travis a couple days ago on skype. It'd been a wile since we'd had the opportunity and it did my heart so much good to hear him talk of the things God is doing in his heart. The Holy Spirit has been releasing the song of the Lord in him and worship has been flowing out. I loved hearing his excitement as he recounted the work of the Lord in his life.

Many in our culture view age 18 as the entrance into adulthood. Yes, today is a big day for Travis. It's an exciting birthday and I wish so badly that I could be there to celebrate it with him. But today, Travis is not a man because the world tells him he finally reached the magic number 18. No, today Travis is a man because of his character. Because he has stood firm in his convictions amidst a generation prone to waiver. Because he is choosing for himself whom he will serve.

So happy birthday little brother, man of courage, son of God, I hope it's a great day! I love you!

Taking Possession

2009-08-06T04:06:00.001-06:00

Over the past couple of weeks we have been in the book of Deuteronomy in the weekly Torah portion (The Torah is the five books of Moses. It has been divided into weekly portions that allow Jews to read through the Torah over the course of one year.). As I read through the first few chapters of the book, something kept standing out to me. God continually tells His people that He has given them the Promised Land, all they must do is go in and take possession of it. But we know that the story does not happily end there. The Israelites are overcome with fear and end up spending the next forty years wandering in the wilderness. This was their lot because they did not take possession of what God wanted to give them. I got to thinking... is there something that God wants to give me that I'm not taking possession of? Several things came to mind. God wants to bring in my financial support for this season in Israel, but I must stand in faith and take possession of that promise. He wants to lead me in a life of love that leaves no room for fear of any kind, but I must take possession that life. He wants to open up the realm of supernatural miracles, but I must take possession of it. How many things do we see in the Bible alone that we are not fully living out in our lives? Perhaps the problem is that we are not taking possession of those things for ourselves. When I say take possession, I mean making it our own. Owning it. Believing it. Taking God at His Word. What a revolutionary idea! What if we actually believed what God said to us and lived like the Bible is true? What if we believed that the deaf can hear? What if we really believed that whatever we ask for in His name will be given to us? What if we believed that the blood of Christ really does allow us to boldly approach the throne of God? I believe that God wants to give us so much more than we are currently experiencing, but the problem is that we're not taking it from Him. His arms are outstretched to us, but our's are not to Him. We can not receive a gift if we do not reach out and take it, saying this is mine. Taking possession is the difference between a life of milk and honey and four decades in the desert. What is God wanting to give you today that you are not taking possession of?

φίλος - Phileo

2009-08-03T16:26:00.002-06:00

A few years ago, a friend of mine started signing his emails with Phileo. Phileo (verb) is used 25 times in New Testament, and is one of the Greek words for love. It comes from the root word "Philos" which is the word translated “friend.” Phileo love is the brotherly affection of friendship. I love this word. I want it to define my life. I believe it perfectly captures what the Bible intends for friendship. Paul tells the church in Rome to be devoted to one another in brotherly love, honoring one another above themselves. That is phileo love - selfless and pure. Paul also admonishes Timothy, that young men and women should treat each other as brothers and sisters with absolute purity. I have made this my goal. I want to be above reproach. I want to love from a pure heart with the kind of love that is appropriate for the situation. In English, we do not have the vocabulary to fully describe and understand appropriate types of love for the differing relationships we have on our lives. But that is not the case in Greek. In Greek, we have agape, phileo, eros, and storge. There are passionate loves, friendship loves and unconditional loves, each for a specific time and purpose. Well, as an unmarried young woman, I desire that phileo love would define the relationships of this stage in my life. The kind of love that makes every other young woman my sister, not my rival. And every young man my brother, not a potential. I believe and hope that if Christians started treating each other this way, it would revolutionize the church.

Now, this is not something that I have mastered by any means, but Jesus is faithful. Just the other day I made a new friend - a young guy from the states who was visiting Israel for the summer. As I try to do with new friendships, I asked Jesus to show me how I could love this new friend with phileo, like my brother. Well, a few days later, we were having lunch with some new acquaintances and one of them looked at us and asked, "Are you two brother and sister?" It's important to note here that we are not even the same race! My friend is Hispanic and anyone who knows me, knows that I am the definition of what we'll politely call "fair skinned." And yet, we were mistaken for being siblings. In my heart, I thanked Jesus and gave Him the glory. It may sound small and silly, but it showed me something very important. When we ask Jesus for righteousness, He is faithful to come. It could have been so easy for the person to mistake us as a couple, which would have been mildly embarrassing and far less inspiring to blog about. But no, we gave the pure appearance of family. Thank you Holy Spirit. I want to live a life of absolute purity. I want to live a life of phileo.

Jesus gave me Ninja Skills

2009-07-30T12:56:00.006-06:00

So here's the story...

Tonight I had a lovely evening with my new, good, friend Mandie. The evening was so much fun and so precious, but that is a different story. We were talking, sitting in a valley below the House of Prayer. It was staring to get dark and we decided to wrap it up. But then about 6 Arab boys and young men came up near us. It seemed harmless at first, but as the time went on, we really felt that we needed to leave. I had cautiously been keeping my hand on my purse and camera that was laying next to me on the grass. But in a split second, I lifted my hand to readjust and one of the young men took his opportunity. He reached down for my things and managed to grab my Cannon SLR camera. I don't really know how I did it, but in a second a just yelled "Lo!" ("no" in Hebrew) and lunged to grab the dangling neck strap of my camera as he turned to run. I pulled it back to me, and as it slipped from his hand, it came back and smacked me... but I got it! It's true, some guy tried to mug me... and I won! Some of the boys who saw what happened offered to get the police, but considering that the guy didn't get away with anything, we didn't think it was necessary. And from the way he ran away, my guess is that he's half way to Jordan by now...

Mandie and I walked home immediately, praising Jesus for His protection and for giving me the ninja fast skills to grab my stuff back! As a friend recently reminded me... Abba keeps me.

It's been a new and interesting experience living here in Israel on my own. In all honesty, I never thought I would be able to do this. Maybe it was due to watching a few too many suspense movies a few years to early, but the thought of living in a big city alone always scared me. There's probably a "healthy fear" there, (what an oxymoran, haha) causing me to be cautious. But it's been really cool to see the work that Jesus has done in my heart in this season, here in Jerusalem. I do not live in fear. Circumstances sometimes force me to walk home alone at night, but I do not fall prey to fear. I will not. I often walk home praying in the Spirit, knowing that I am encircled with the Spirit of the living God! What can touch me?! Seriously, Jesus is so good, and so big, and loves me so much, in such a perfect way, that fear is always driven out. Now, that's not to say that I don't use wisdom. I make all efforts not to walk home alone at night if I don't have to, I avoid certain neighborhoods and keep a can on pepper spray on my keychain. But I do not put my faith in those things, for they can fail me. But my Jesus never fails. I walk in the light... even at night. Listen to this story of Gladys Aylward (another woman I want to be when I grow up). She firmly put her trust in Christ, even when things looked a little scary.

When Gladys Aylward was on her way to China to fulfill the call of God on her life, the enemy must have known how powerful her minstry would be because he tried to thwart her before she even arrived. In Russia, she was detained by corrupt government officials. As she sat in a hotel room, thinking about a way to escape, an officer tried to force his way in. Boldly she told him, "You are not coming in here."
"Why not?" he smirked.
"Because this is my bedroom."
"I am the master, I can do with you what I wish!"
"Oh no, you cannot. You may not believe in God, but He is here. Touch me and see. Between you and me God has put a barrier. Go!"
The man stared at Gladys, shivered, and without a word, turned and left.

Can you see why I like her so much? This is how we as believers should be living. We must know and make it known that God is protecting us. Oh that I too would have her boldness in declaring God's protection!

So yes, someone tried to mug me. But Jesus is bigger and protected me and Mandie from any real harm. I will not live in fear. I came home and told my roommates the story. After the initial shock, they lovingly asked me if I was ok emotionally. And I can honestly say that I am. Not out of an ignorant, cavalier attitude, but from truly knowing that Abba keeps me. So I will live my life in this city. I will get on the bus, refusing to let the enemy win by keeping me off for fear of bombings. I will walk to and from my apartment in the authority of Jesus Christ. Yes, the world that we live in is fallen and full of many evils, but we must never forget that Jesus is bigger.

And when you need Him, He will provide the necessary ninja skills... trust me.

When I Grow Up...

2009-07-29T08:21:00.001-06:00

Most of you who know me well, know that I want to be a lot of people when I grow up. That's right, not things... people. When I was little, I wanted to be a lot of things: a teacher, an astronaut, a marine biologist, I even had a deep desire to be a waitress. I think it was a fascination with getting to wear a visor. What can I say, some dreams come true.

But these days, I want to be people when I grow up - Amy Carmichael, Beverly my cubical neighbor at work (affectionately referred to as my 69 year old best friend and powerful intercessor), Ruth the Moabitess, Elizabeth Elliot, Jackie Pullenger, and Nancy the beautiful woman of wisdom who leads the watch right before mine in the mornings, here in Jerusalem. These women are those of godly character, feminine grace, and heroic love. The could all be gal pals with the Proverbs 31 woman and have all become a shining example to this 20 year old one. Whenever I meet a woman like this, who is living a life devoted to Christ and is passionately in love with Him, I normally respond with "I want to be her when I grow up!"

Today, we have built a 21st century church to fit into our 21st century world. We are hip - we have coffee shops in our churches and our churches in coffee shops. The worship music is "relevant" and the media department is cutting edge. We look cool and manage to make Jesus pretty cool too. Now, all this in and of itself is not bad. But there is a grave danger waiting just around the corner... In our efforts to make to church culturally relevant to the younger generation, we have lost the older one. Our culture is constantly dividing us on generational lines. There are senior discounts and child discounts. There's "grown-up" movies and kids movies. And now, in the church, we have "youth services" and "adult services" - where parents' and kids' only Sunday morning interaction is the car ride to and from church. Separate worship, separate messages, separate lives. Or the even more extreme, whole youth churches, where there is not even the possibility of being forced to interact with "old people." How could a young person possibly be able to learn about Jesus with a faithful man or woman there who has known Him for 50 years?! Seriously?

We have lost respect for the older generation in the church today. We have separated ourselves from our potential mentors, shepherds and spiritual parents. We are consumed with the newest Christian fluff that hits the Christian bookstore shelves, and have never even heard of spiritual giants like Jonathan Edwards, Charles Spurgeon, Hudson Taylor and Smith Wigglesworth - much less read a word they wrote. May we look to those bold forerunners who have paved the way for us with gratefulness and admiration. Not to mention the shining examples of faith we have in the Bible and the early church. But to discover these treasures, we would have to actually be reading our Bibles, which is another topic for another blog.

I look to these amazing men and women and desire to live the lives of faith they did - rescuing Indian children from human trafficking, introducing Jesus to those who have yet to know His great love, laying down my life in the service of others, pure devotion to the King and becoming a warrior of intercession. That is what I want to be when I grow up. Now, I am almost 21 years old and many would debate that my time for dreaming of what I want to be when I grow up, is long past. But I hope that I will never stop desiring to do great things for Jesus. I want to walk in the well trodden path of the saints and I want to aspire to even more when I am well into my 70s and 80s. Moving from glory to glory, never relenting in abandoning my life to Him.

And so I keep dreaming. I continue to see the beautiful, virtuous work of Christ in those further on this life journey than I, and choose to follow their example. What do you want to be when you grow up?

It Happened to Me!

2009-07-11T06:12:00.000-06:00

Last night seemed like it was going to be an ordinary, relaxing erev shabbat. I was looking forward to food, friends, and the peace of the sabbath as I was rode the elevator up to my friend's apartment... and then it happened. Just like a movie, the elevator lurched, the lights blacked out and then it died. That's right, I was stranded. I was left alone in the pitch black somewhere between floors. I immediately had visions of the elevator plummeting down the shaft with only the concrete bottom to break my fall. Than I saw myself in the dark 3 foot by 5 foot space all night while I waited for the paramedics to come save me. That was in a movie, right? Then the worst one hit me, what if no one realized I was missing? What if I had to stay in there all night? In the dark... alone... hungry. I began to bang of the doors, yelling "I'm stuck in the elevator! Hello!" My phone didn't have any service, but with the little bit of light that my blue screen gives, I was able to find the emergency button and push it vigorously. You'd be amazed how quickly panic sets in when you're in a situation like that. Now, if you can believe this, all the afore mentioned scenarios and actions happened over the course of about 30 seconds. After that, my sanity kicked in and I began to pray. Once I began to do the one thing that would help me most, a supernatural peace came over me and the fear evaporated. Now I'm not saying that I was content to live in that elevator for the rest of my life or even the rest of the night, but the panic was gone.

John's first epistle, he tells us that perfect love casts out fear. That's one of those verses that I grew up knowing, but never really beleiving. But I'll let you in on something - God means what He says and every word in that book we call the Bible is solid truth. When you realize that the Creator of the Universe, Lord of every living thing, King of Kings, Alpha and Omega, and Holy Father loves you with a perfect love that has not even a hint of selfishness in it, your fear seems to vanish. In fact, it begins to look downright silly. If the Divine loves me like that, no middle eastern elevator is going to make me tremble. My only regret about last night is that is took me 30 whole seconds to turn to Jesus. My prayer is that I would know the Father's love deeper and truer until He is the first and only place I turn in time of trouble. Imagine a life without the presence of even the slightest fear... it is a life of love. Well, for those of you who are wondering, I made it out of the elevator - hence the fact that I am able to write this for your reading pleasure. I was stranded for a very undramatic 2 minutes. The power kicked back on and I made it my appropriate floor. I later found out that this happens semi-regularly. I'll chalk it up to just another initiation into life in Israel. But for the record, I think I'm going to stick to the stairs from now on. After all, doesn't it say somewhere to not test the Lord you God? :)

How Low Can You Go?

2009-07-11T06:11:00.002-06:00

I've realized something over that last few months - my life is very much like limbo. Not the supposed waiting place for souls... the party game. You know, it's a staple at Hawaiian luaus and roller skating parties. Somebody will turn on some music that in any other situation would be completely unbearable, and you attempt to make your way under the horizontal pole, broomstick, or whatever you have on hand with your body arched back. All the while people are chanting the limbo challenge "How low can you go?" Now you may ask what this has to do with my life. And considering that I do not live in a perpetual luau nor have I worn roller-skates since the 2nd grade, this is a very valid question.

Lately I feel like the Holy Spirit has been challenging me, "How low can you go today Chelsea? How humble will you choose to be? With what sacrificial love will you serve those around you?" These can be very convicting, yet inspiring questions! I long to go lower, that Jesus may be lifted higher. I want to decrease that He would increase. I want to consider others above myself. But I must first answer the question, how low am I willing to go? Well, in the Christian life game of limbo, the bar has been set unbelievably low... in a good way. You see, Jesus was the most humble servant to walk the earth. He is how we are to measure all of our actions and behavior. He has given us a perfect example of humility.

Sometimes we believers sing these powerful worship songs, pleading Jesus to take us where He is. We long to be lifted up to heaven and dwell in His presence. But instead of bringing us up, what if He chose to bring us down to where He is as the Suffering Servant. Are we willing to go that low? If I try to shimmy my way under the impossibly low bar of humility that Jesus has set, in my own strength, my legs will inevitably give out from under me and I will end up on my back. The only fruit of that method is discouragement, pain and failure. But if I let the Holy Spirit take me there in His strength, He will carry me under the bar, conforming me more to the image of Yeshua every step of the way.

And so my answer to Holy Spirit's question is, "Take me as low as Jesus."

How low can you go?

Ethiopia in my Heart

2009-07-09T13:29:00.003-06:00

Check out this video that my friend David made about our time in Ethiopia. I can't watch it without crying. Enjoy!

Jesus & Jane

2009-07-08T03:10:00.005-06:00

This morning I had humorous conversation with one of my roommates at the breakfast table. We were discussing books and movies and someone brought up Jane Austen's classic, Emma. My roommate began to tell of her complete dislike for the book which ultimately resulted in her tossing it aside after only the first 100 pages. I, being quite the Jane Austen fan ,was naturally appalled by this! How could she rob herself of such a masterpiece. For those of you who are not familiar with the story, Emma is a young woman with a affluent lifestyle in 18th century England. She is selfish, spoiled, inconsiderate and downright rude for much of the book. Now you might be siding with my roommate on that description alone, but the climax of the book is Emma's redemption. Through a series of events, Emma sees the cruel folly of her ways, repents, reforms and even manages to live happily ever after with the man of her dreams by the last page. This is what I was so intent on explaining to my roomie this morning in our playful debate. But, try as I might, she could just not get past Emma's selfishness at the beginning of the story. As she stood to take her dishes to the sink, she matter of factly called back that she just can't read stories where the main character is terrible and still manages to "get the guy at the end," even if she does change. I teasingly responded with, "Do you read your Bible?"

Although this trite conversation could be quickly forgotten as just another feminine dialogue in a house of 5 young women, it has stuck with me. I am Emma. I am prone to selfishness and sin. That's my story. But through a series of divine actions, I've come to a place of repentance, turning from my sin nature into life in the Spirit. And I even get to end up with Prince Jesus at the end of the story. Today I am struck by the simple beauty of the gospel. Although I am completely undeserving, Jesus has snatched me from the flames and called me into a life of love with Him.

Although I am a self-confessed lover of Miss Austen's work, I can not credit her with the beauty of Emma's storyline. There is nothing new under the sun and her novel is simply a lesser version of the greatest love story ever told. Set your heart on Jesus today and mediate on the beauty of your salvation story. If you want some more inspiration, you could read Emma, watch the movie, or better yet... read your Bible.

I am a Vehicle of Mercy

2009-07-06T09:07:00.004-06:00

Well, after my last post on scripture memorization, I have decided to share with you in the next few entries some of the things Jesus showed me in Romans 11 and 12. Today, I want to talk about mercy. Now, most of my life I've been a pretty justice oriented person. Things tend to be black and white for me. I have a love for theology, politics and truth. I like absolutes and concrete thoughts. I like knowing what's right and what's wrong. That's the way I believe God made me. It is my strength, but it can also be my curse. If balanced with the mercy of God (which always triumphs over judgement, a point I constantly need reminding of) a love for justice is a great thing! The writers of the Psalms and Proverbs plead with us to love justice. But, it's when mercy is lacking, that zeal for all things just, becomes a curse to the soul. This year, God did a major overhaul on my heart and is daily increasing the gift of mercy in my life. (Side-note: mercy is a spiritual gift and Paul says to pursue the gifts. If you feel like you're lacking in the area of mercy [or any other gift] like I was, ask God to give you more of that gift! It works.) I'm learning the art of merciful justice, which in the Kingdom of God is not an oxymoron. How did this happen? Read on...

This spring, our class was traveling and ministering in Israel. One sunny afternoon, we were having our weekly Romans Bible study in a grassy park right outside the Old City. We were discussing chapter 11, what I believe to be one of the most important sections of scripture to the church today. The call of God to Israel can not be revoked or redirected to "the church." Believers in Jesus do not replace Israel, rather we join them. I could and people have written entire books on this subject, so I will not go into great depth here, but there's a few verses at the end of the chapter that are quite remarkable.

30 For as you were once disobedient to God, yet have now obtained mercy through their disobedience, 31 even so these also have now been disobedient, that through the mercy shown you they also may obtain mercy. 32 For God has committed them all to disobedience, that He might have mercy on all.

God has veiled the eyes of His people, so that the nations could partake in the gift of salvation. Before Yeshua, we were all missing out. When I say we, I mean the gentiles/nations - I am one, so 'we' just makes sense to me. We (gentiles) weren't of Abraham's bloodline, the end. We were disobedient to God, worshiping false idols with pagan rituals. But God, in His deep mercy and love for us, veiled the eyes of His own people, that through their disobedience to Him, we would have a chance to receive His mercy! Unbelievable! But many of us stop there. We say, "Thank you Jesus for Your mercy, now what's on TV tonight?" Some of us see error in the first response and choose to instead focus on loving the Jewish people. This is good! We should love them and have a gratefulness in our hearts that they've suffered for generations for our salvation. It's sobering, but so important to realize! Earlier in chapter 11, Paul says that Israel is blinded in part, until the fullness of the gentiles has come in. But that spring afternoon, while sitting on the grass at the base of Mt. Zion, God showed me a third response, a revelation, it might even deserve the title epiphany. It's from the end of verse 31,

31 even so these also have now been disobedient, that through the mercy shown you they also may obtain mercy.

It all comes back to mercy. You see I, like many other believers today, had seen the suffering of Israel that I might be saved and was extremely grateful! I go to Israel to serve them and show my deep love for them. This is a great thing to do, but somewhere along the way, I got a little confused. I tend to go to extremes, my mom describes it as a pendulum on a clock that swings from one direction to the furthest possible opposite direction, thankfully the Holy Spirit is teaching me balance. But, in an effort to distance myself from the widely accepted Christian belief that Israel is unimportant and irrelevant to us today, my pendulum swung hard. I began to put the Jewish people on a bit of a pedestal, all subconsciously mind you. By focusing so much on what God has done for me through the Jewish people, I started to downplay if not totally erase the role of the gentiles in God's plan. I knew that we were important in the sense that we are to love God and each other. We are called to minister and evangelize, but in the grand scheme of things, I started to see us as tag-alongs. I'll say right now that this is not God's heart! You have to read all the way to the end of verse 31, that through the mercy shown us, they also might obtain mercy! In Romans 10, Paul says that ALL Israel will be saved. In chapter 11, he says that their acceptance will be life from the dead, and we know from what Jesus says in the book of Matthew, that when Israel turns her heart towards Yeshua as her Messiah, there will be world revival and then the end will come and our Bridegroom with it! But how is Israel going to come back? God, in His sovereignty, could simply bring them back alone - but because He loves us, He allows us gentiles to be involved in the process by becoming vehicles of mercy to the Jewish people. Isn't it beautiful? They become disobedient that we might receive merciful salvation and through that same mercy in us, they too will receive merciful salvation. This revelation is just another example of how our circular God is constantly pretzeling my linear mind. This revelation has literally changed my life, from my prayer to purpose, delights to direction. One of my favorite things about God is that He doesn't have plan B's. He is the sovereign Ancient of Days. He did not choose Israel, oh and then include the gentiles as an after thought. No, no, He choose the Jews - that they might play a part in saving the nations - that the nations would play a part in saving the Jews. Paul calls it the mystery of the Gospel. I call it beautiful.

While I was in Ethiopia, I had the opportunity to meet many Jewish people (some who have yet to know the love of Yeshua as their Messiah) who were living in complete poverty. And guess what was going through my head the whole time? Oh Jesus! Have mercy on them! You've taken care of me, loved me, provided for me and saved me. Please Jesus, do the same for them - have mercy! It was real. My eyes could not stay dry and my heart would not ease. It's because I have chosen to step into the destiny that God has for me as a carrier of mercy to His people.

I am a young woman with no Jewish blood that love Jesus, that makes me a vehicle of mercy to Israel. Living in Jerusalem everyday has caused this revelation to become reality in me. What does being a carrier of mercy look like? Is it intercession that Israel would know God's mercy? Is it working with the poor and needy Jewish people? Is it helping the Jewish woman with five little kids out to her car at the supermarket just up the road from my apartment? Is it continuously forgiving when they hurt your feelings? Is it showing the love of Yeshua in my countenance as well as in words of evangelism? And I would say that the answer it yes. If you're a Jewish person, ask God how you can fulfill your destiny to bless the nations because you've been greatly blessed (Gen. 12:3). And if you're a Gentile, ask God how He wants you to fulfill your destiny to show mercy because you've been shown such great mercy (Rom. 11). He created these roles for you in the "grand scheme of things" before the beginning of creation - walk in them.

I have hidden Thy Word in my heart

2009-07-06T08:55:00.002-06:00

During my time in the Gateways Beyond training school this year, my class chose to memorize chapters 11 and 12 from Paul's book to the Romans. I can personally testify to the benefit of committing large sections of Scripture to memory! After we began to memorize, it seemed like those two chapters were popping up everywhere! In our teaching, morning exhortations, and personal time with Jesus. There's something beautiful in becoming more familiar with the Word of God. It goes from being words on a page, to a deep seated truth within you that you KNOW beyond a shadow of doubt. It deepens your intimacy with Yeshua and gives your life greater fullness in every area, because you've chosen to make the lIving Word alive in you! This could not be more true in my experience with Romans 11 and 12. God used Romans 11 and 12 to speak to me about my destiny, the truths they hold were instrumental in the levels of freedom and deliverance I received this year, and they ultimately became the cries of my intercession. This was all made possible because we made it a point to know these chapters inside and out - word for word. We want to be good Biblical stewards and handle rightly the Word of God. And as we memorized by flash cards, audio Bible on our ipods and meditating on the texts, something began to happen! The Holy Spirit breathed His life into it and subsequently, 7 young peoples lives will never be the same. We have a fuller knowledge of the love of God, His love for Israel, the destiny of nations, the Christian life of sacrifice and the purposes of God in our generation. Now, that was just to name a few, but trust me - the impact was priceless and I'm still getting revelation. And that was just two chapters! Imagine if we learned the whole book?! Most Christians haven't even read the whole Bible, much less memorize it. But, I want to clarify - this isn't Awanas anymore . Don't memorize verses to get a badges on your perverbial "I'm a good Christian" vest, a pat on the back from your pastor, or to wow everyone at the next church event. We need to know the word of God because it is power and life! Jesus is coming back and the gates of hell want to do whatever they can to stop it! We must take up our swords! Demons fear no Christian who lacks the power of the Holy Spirit and the skill to proclaim the word of God.

Peter Prothero is an international speaker and the pastor of Jubilee Church just outside of London, he is also a favorite around the Gateways base when it comes to guest teachers. During my first year, he said something to our class that has stuck with me. He boldly stated that "When temptation comes, it time to SAY, not pray." Unpacked, that means that we, as believers, should have an active prayer life before temptation comes, strengthening ourselves so that when it does come, we boldly proclaim the truth that we are God's children, Jesus died to redeem us, the Holy Spirit has made us new creatures and no scheme of satan will get the best of us! I like that. I wrote it, so I should. But my point is that how can you "say" in the time of trouble if you can't remember it? Really knowing the God's Word will change your life. It did mine. This blog is not to brag on myself and tell you all how great I am for memorizing two whole chapters. Oooo! I only have what.....thousands more to go. Trust me, I'm far from being there, but I want to testify that God is good, His word is powerful and it's important.

Some might say that memorizing is too hard, your mind doesn't work that way, etc. I know that this sounds hard, but Jesus had lots of "hard sayings". I'd challenge you to really examine your heart to see if there's a laziness that's keeping you from memorizing God's Word. (This can be especially clear if you seem to have lots of other things memorized like songs, movie quotes, sports statistics, etc). If you do indeed find laziness in your heart toward the Bible, repent, turn from your sin and dive into Scripture! Now this next part is important, there's a little verse in the Bible that says "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Now I know that we all think that we're the only exception to the Bible, that God wrote that for everyone but me, I don't count. I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't work that way. There's another Scripture that says that God is "not a man that He should lie." I know that it sounds crazy to actually believe what the Bible says... but trust me on this one. God gives us the armor of God in Ephesians 6. And the one piece of offensive equipment that we're given is the sword of the Spirit. The writer of Hebrews tells us that this is the Word of God. So, God gives us His Word to wield as a sword in spiritual warfare. Now, it would be kind of a cruel trick to give us a sword that we couldn't pick up, wouldn't it? Picture this huge William Wallace sized sword that you can't get off the ground, much less do any damage with. Lot of good that would do you, huh? Just to let you know, God doesn't do stuff like that to His children. If He's going to give you a weapon, he's going to make sure that you can use it. Now, that's not to say it won't take time building to up your muscles to handle it with skill, but it was made for you and you will prevail. In the same way, God's Word was written for us - His people. He didn't make it too hard to be of any use to us. He's not that kind of God. It might take time and effort to study and know the Bible, but we will prevail. God made your mind to know His word, it just works that way - isn't He good? So, just ask God for strength, grace and discipline as you attempt to dive into His word that you might steward it well, proclaim it in the face of temptation, and wield it skillfully in battle.

JEWISH COMMUNITY

2009-06-30T03:03:00.008-06:00

Our interaction with the Ethiopian Jewish community may have been the most impacting part of the trip for me. Many of you know that I have long had heart for God's chosen people and the Messianic community. In Ethiopia, the Jewish people face difficult lives, full of discrimination as they wait to return to their Promised Land. We sat on the wooden benches of a tin roof and dirt floor synagogue, full of men and women who have yet to know the salvation of their Messiah. We were able to be involved in distributing aid to the Jewish people who are living in poverty as they wait to make aliyah and return to Israel. And we also had the beautiful privilege to worship with Jewish believers in Yeshua. As we worshipped, I was hit with the realization of where I was and what an honor to be worshipping with these brothers and sisters as the one new man ( Ephesians 2). We joined this believing community for the Biblical feast of Shavuot (Pentecost), to celebrate God's giving of His Word and the Holy Spirit. This was an anointed time! After a powerful word, preached by Jahi (the leader of Gateways' first year program) the Holy Spirit came and we saw people receive salvation, physical healing and deliverance from demonic oppression. God delights in meeting His children during His appointed times. And how pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity. We worshipped with them in English, Amharic and Hebrew and danced both Israeli and African dances. This Messianic congregation is on fire for the Lord, but it has come at a great cost. During our celebration in an open air compound, rocks began to fly over the wall and into the compound - hitting our team and the congregation members. This Jewish community on the outskirts of Addis Ababa is about 60,000 people and only a few hundred are believers in Jesus as the Messiah. The rock-throwers were infuriated with these precious believers, accusing them of witchcraft in the community, because of their faith in Christ. What started as several angry men, quickly turned into a riot. Signs and banners for the gathering were torn down, and the windshields of the cars belonging to the believers were smashed. Nobody was seriously injured, but it gives perspective of what these people go through everyday for the sake of following Jesus. We were also able to bless them by doing practical service in the compound where their congregation meets - gardening, cleaning, and electrical work. For many years, the believers in this community have stayed underground to forgo this kind of persecution, but we stand with them in their recent choice to openly worship Yeshua as the Messiah and shine like a city on a hill. Please join me in lifting up this community and the believers in it to the Lord.

Traditional Jewish dancing with the Messianic congregation on the feast of Shavuot

Our team with some of the congregational leaders in their compound on work day

MERCY

2009-06-30T03:03:00.006-06:00

The team had the privilege to visit several orphanages in Ethiopia, where they poured out love on the precious children. For many, this was their first experience in an orphanage, and already we have been deeply impacted for life.

At Kechene Children’s Home (a place that has become very special in our hearts), we encountered a very understaffed and almost unsupervised group of teenagers and children roaming the neglected and overgrown property. And what an amazing facility and property it was! A few YEARS of work, and it could be a really nice place. The group started with the area of greatest need: the yard and grounds. They began to clean up the grounds making piles of things the children could sell (such as scrap metal, eucalyptus leaves, and wood) for bus fare and school supplies. Realizing that we were gathering resources for these children, motivated us greatly in our work. The grounds were so extensive that even 4 days of work were not sufficient to complete the task! Breaks were spent playing and giving love to neglected children starving for attention, as well as almost all of our girls getting their hair braided. The children were beautiful and it was a joy to give them much needed love. We toiled and waited. Jesus said, “look to the fields, for they are white for harvest”. Before the harvest, surely there was a process of toiling, planting, and watering. And, for us, at Kechene, that is what we did for 4 days. We toiled, planted, and watered in the spiritual as we toiled on the grounds in the physical. And we waited for that open door.

Well, in the afternoon of our last day there, that opportunity came. The kids were so touched by our love and affection that they began to ask questions. We performed the drama and shared the gospel (in a government run orphanage!) and many were touched. The kids sang some songs for us, and after we had a time of worship with them. Many began to weep. One girl shared how the kids felt about our coming-and it was so sweet. They had never been loved like this before. It was an unprecedented encounter for those kids. When we ask, He will come-and shine His light on everyone! I made a special connection with a little boy named Hilu at this orphanage. He is ten years old and had only been at the orphanage two days when we arrived. Prior to that, he had been living on the street. Abba gave me a deep, deep love in my heart for this little boy. Over the course of our time there, we played and took pictures and every chance I had, I would use the little Amharic I knew to tell him that Jesus loved him. The last day we were there and we were worshipping, he finally broke and began to release the emotions he'd been internalizing for years. Through the tears, he prayed the sinners prayer raised his little hand when the invitation for salvation was given. When we left that day, my tears flowed as freely as his. I had such a burden on my heart for him to truly know the love of God. Then the Father came to me with His still, small voice and showed my heart, that if I have such a desire for this one little boy to know the Father's love, how much GREATER is the Father's desire to see all His children truly live in the spirit of adoption. As I went to bed that night, I prayed that Yeshua would touch Hilu's heart. And that night, I had a dream. In the dream, I met Hilu, five years in the future. He told me that ever since that day he prayed with us, his life was never the same. Jesus had come and revealed Himself face-to-face to him one night in his little room at the orphanage and he KNEW the love of God. He was following the Lord as a young man, and had a heart for evangelism. I woke up with such gratitude in my heart and tears in my eyes. Jesus, encouraged me that everyone we encounter is ultimately in His hands. Going to a third world country and seeing the great need, can be overwhelming if you try to carry the burden in the strength of your flesh. But, if we let Holy Spirit teach us how to appropriately carry a burden for these people in intercession, there is great joy! It's not about how much our team can do in one month, but the reality that Jesus can reveal His love to a child face to face in his room one night if He wants to. Thank you Abba.

The team also worked hard at Hope Enterprises Feeding Center several times during the trip, feeding and loving hundreds of children at the morning breakfast and over 1,000 adults at lunch. I had the honor of preaching the gospel at HOPE and it was amazing. The Spirit of God touched may hearts and dozens made a decision that day to reconcile their hearts to God. We served the poorest of society the one meal they would eat all day. Many on our team who had worked in restaurants, desired to serve these beautiful people better than the fanciest places they'd worked in. Despite the great poverty that defines their lives, these people's faces were full of life and joy. Smiles were seen everywhere. It challenged me so much! With all the gifts that Jesus has given me, I have no excuse for my countenance to ever be downcast! He truly does beautify the humble with salvation. As we go throughout our days, do we look like a people who have been given the gift of salvation? Do our faces show it, like these precious Ethiopians'?

Another favorite place to serve, was HOME (House of Mercy Ethiopia) Children’s Center, in their day program for mentally and physically disabled children. We sang, played games, shared Bible stories, and prayed for them. So many beautiful faces and smiles that we will remember for a lifetime!

HOPE Feeding Center

ENCOURAGEMENT

2009-06-30T03:01:00.003-06:00

In Africa, church is the most exciting part of the week. The whole team ministered in several church services over the course of our one month trip, and every time, we left as impacted as the congregation. We joined the believers there in powerful worship. I've never experienced anything like it. The intensity and passion with which they worship would shame the western church. If you looked around the congregation during the worship, you would see intense gratitude, inexpressible joy, and passionate love on the faces of the believers. We also had the opportunity to lead worship in both English and Amharic. We simply shined and poured out love for our King, encouraging others to do the same. We were also able to do the drama we prepared and students shared testimonies to encourage the Church. The Holy Spirit fell and we were all encouraged to witness the fire, anointing, and power of the Word being preached. Several were also able to deliver prophetic words of encouragement and healing words of knowledge to the believers we fellowshipped with. It was a powerful time of uniting the Body of Messiah. The whole team left beaming with joy.

EVANGELISM

2009-06-30T03:00:00.001-06:00

Through out the trip, we sent several teams into the city of Addis Ababa to do street evangelism. We’d split up into groups of 3 or 4 people and go out to meet people and shine the light of Yeshua. For many students, this was their first experience evangelizing and praying for people on the streets. One group was in the city square when a young man found them whom they had shared with the week before. He was exuberant as he testified what the Lord had done: The week before, one of the evangelism teams had met two hungry young men-Michael and Lazarus. Michael had a lot of stress over his university studies and Lazaraus had a visible tumor on his throat. The team prayed for them and told the young men that they were confident that God was answering their prayers. A week later, Michael found them and joyfully shared with them how his studies had dramatically improved and how his friend Lazarus had been completely healed and now has no tumor! As he shared, a small crowd of people came in closer to find out what was going on. Just as someone had prophesied over him the week before, that God would use him to bring in people, he began to share with the crowd about the goodness of the Lord in his life!

We also took time to minister in prisons in Ethiopia. These times were incredibly powerful. Hundreds on inmates would gather in the hot sun to listen to us worship, share the drama we prepared, give our testimonies and preach the gospel. Dozens responded to the invitations for salvation and many were touched. When you're in that atmosphere, there can be a slight twinge of fear in your heart - there was in mine. You look around and the surroundings are pretty rough. But then the Holy Spirit came and gave me this perfect peace. He reminded me that I have the reality of Heaven living inside of me and not even the gates of Hell can prevail against it! It was a powerful time and even I, a white young woman from the other side of the world, was able to approach these convicts with the boldness of Christ and see Jesus touch their hearts. We were also able to meet with the believers who attend the small church in the prison compound. We had the opportunity to pray and prophesy over them - encouraging them to shine like lights in the darkness and show their fellow inmates how Jesus has changed their life.

Reflections of Africa

2009-06-30T02:57:00.004-06:00

Teanastellen! (greeting meaning "may health be given to you" in Amharic)

It's been two weeks since our team returned from Ethiopia, but my mind and heart still haven't fully processed all God did during that time. Our one month outreach trip there was life changing, and I want to share as much as I can with all of you. Hopefully this summary will give you a taste of what God has done and is doing in the Land of Ethiopia...

For any Gateways Beyond outreach there are four areas of ministry which we focused on. First, evangelism by being bold messengers of the Good New on the streets, in prisons, and churches. Second, being an extension of God’s love and mercy to the poor and to orphans. Third, connecting with local believers to bring strength and encouragement to the body of Messiah. And fourth, to be a living witness to the Jewish community through acts of love and service. I want to use my next few posts to share about my experiences in these four areas, while in Ethiopa.

Thank you to all who sowed into this trip financially and prayerfully. God did great and wondrous things during our time their. The people we were able to minister the love of the Father to were greatly impacted, as were we. And please join me in praying for the nation of Ethiopia - that the unbelievers in the land would come to know salvation in Jesus - that God would show His great mercy to the poor and helpless - that He would come to His Bride in Ethiopia as she pours out her worship on Him - and that the Jewish Ethiopians would live in the eternal life of Yeshua the Messiah! I will try to keep you all posted and where God takes me next and what I'll be doing. Thank you for all your support! I have found no greater joy than following Jesus wherever He leads.

Xavier yebarkatchu! (God Bless you in Amharic)

Off We Go!

2009-03-05T12:25:00.005-07:00

So I will be leaving for Israel on Sunday evening. I most likely won't have internet access while I'm gone, but will come back with LOTS of stories to share! I'm so excited about this opportunity. We will be able to minister in so many parts of the country and really touch the people - Jew and Palestinian. Please be praying for us! We will be in some potentially dangerous areas and it is not something to be taken lightly. But we are trusting the Lord and stepping out in bold faith. So, goodbye for now and talk to you in a month!

Living Room Sessions

2009-03-05T12:25:00.002-07:00

"...Teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanders or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young..." Titus 2:1b-4a

Imagine being a "twenty something," with over twenty years of ministry experience; a young single missionary, with the wisdom you gain after 25 years of marriage, at your fingertips. A new prophet learning from a lifetime of prophesying over peoples and nations. This has become the second year student's reality through the Living Room Sessions. The LRS are essentially a time for us, as students, and the senior leaders of the community to converse on topics important in a life of ministry. This is a special time for us, as we are able to ask questions and they to pour into each of us. Dr. Wayne and Bonnie Wilks invited us into their home the first week of school to share the wisdom they have gained through years of balancing ministry and family life. Our second session was with the patriarchs of the Gateways community, Mr. and Mrs. Rudolph. They let us "pick their brain" about prophecy, from accuracy, to context, to how we should steward our growing prophetic giftings when we go home to our respective countries or other divine destinations. We all see what a treasure these sessions are to us, as the younger generation, and feel so privileged to draw from these amazing lives of faith.

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

2009-02-23T11:35:00.001-07:00

This morning in worship, the room was half empty. A stomach virus has been making its way through our community, rendering many of us ill - unable to get out of bed. And this morning we decided that enough is enough. We are sick and tired of our community being sick and tired! We are the children of the King if Heaven. He has purchased us with His blood and by the stripes of Yeshua, we ARE healed! Sickness is not our portion from the Father today. This is not a "name it and claim it" mentality, it is renewing our minds with a right understanding of who we are (children of the Divine Healer) and who God is (The Almighty One). Nothing is impossible for Him. We are aligning our minds with the kingdom of God. If the Kingdom is at hand (what Jesus said), then we are going to reach out and grab it! In the kingdom there is NO sickness, or disease, or pain. We won't accept it any longer. Believing that people just get sick and that's life is exactly what the enemy wants, not to mention completely contrary to scripture! Yeshua prayed "Our Father, who is in Heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." God is a good Father and no good father likes to see his child ill. We say, "Come Abba Father and let Your good, perfect and pleasing will be done!" The realities of heaven are available on earth. As believers we are to live in the reality. That means telling sickness to take a hike. This may sound strange or a little too aggressive for you, but in case you haven't realized...we're in a war. We realized that this morning in worship. We are putting on the armor of light and saying "Sickness, you have no place in our lives!" End of story. It's amazing what can happen when we take God at His word.

This was our battlecry:

I have decided, I'm gonna take a stand.

I have decided, I'm taking back my land.

I have decided, this far and no more.

I'm gonna take up the sword and fight in the name of the LORD.

Blessing

2009-02-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

The Lord often desires to do specific things He in individuals and in generations. Something that we have seen over and over again in our generation here at Gateways, is the divine reconciliation between our German and Jewish classmates. Last Tuesday (Feb. 10th) the Holy Spirit did a mighty work during our morning worship time. There was reconciliation from the Germans to the Jews and from the Jewish believers to the German students. There is such a heaviness that remains from WWII that the enemy would love to maintain, but the light of Yeshua (Jesus) is shining through! It's so powerful to see people get set free by the power of forgiveness and take on their true identities in the Messiah. At the end of this amazing time, Asher Intrater, along with other Jewish believers spread the Israeli flag over all the German believers and pronounced a blessing over them. It was amazing. God's love triumphs all.

AFRICA!!!!!!

2009-02-18T12:39:00.004-07:00

This morning we found out that we are going to Ethiopia for our one month outreach at the end of the school. We couldn't be more excited. From the moment we arrived in Cyprus, our whole class has felt Ethiopia in our hearts. Many of us have had dreams and felt strong impressions in our spirits that Ethiopia would be our destination. When our leadership told us that they had decided to take the team to Africa, we couldn't stay in our seats! There was lots of jumping, screaming, hugging, and crying. The senior leaders decided yesterday, after what they said was an intense Holy Spirit moment. They felt that if they didn't take the school to Ethiopia this year, they would be grieving the Holy Spirit. Our expectancy is high for this outreach! Keep checking in, because there will be MUCH more to come!!!

Reconciliation

2009-02-18T12:35:00.001-07:00

So, last week, we were honored to have Asher Intrater come and teach us. He is from Israel and a widely respected leader in the Messianic movement. He always comes to Gateways with new revelation that inspires passion within all of us. This year, we took advantage of his visit for God's work in Cyprus and scheduled one of our "Streams in the Desert" conferences during that time. We started the Streams conferences last spring with the vision of bringing together the Body of Messiah on the island. All denominations are not only invited, but welcomed! Our groundbreaking event last spring (hosted by Gateways Beyond, a Messianic Jewish ministry) was the first gathering of believers organized by Messianic Jews on the island in 1,800 years - since Paul and Barnabas. So, we've been excited to see how God has blessed these events with His presence and moved among the people. The theme of our event on February 11th was "God's Heart for Israel." There is a considerable anti-semetic presence in Cyprus and even many of the believers do not have the revelation of God's heart for His chosen people. We were pumped! We had a great turn out and people were eager. You could see the expectancy in their eyes, knowing that God had met them at our events before and they were back for more. Many don't come from what we would call a "spirit filled " background, but they know something is different about the worship, the speakers, and our team...and so they keep coming back.

God poured out His beautiful presence during worship and His Spirit was thick in the room. We were gathering in a meeting room at the Ajax Hotel in Limassol. The sign in the lobby to direct people to us, read "Religious Meeting Upstairs". If only they knew that the Lord of heaven was in the building, touching lives, transforming hearts. If it's "religion", it's in it's truest form. After worship, Asher got up to speak. He did not teach a deep theological message against replacement theology or anti-semetism. He shared his testimony - a young jewish man, raised in the synagogue, but searching for more. He shared about meeting Yeshua and being baptized in water and the Spirit. He showed them that he loves the same Jesus they do. And although I believe God spoke to many hearts about Israel that night, He did so much more! As people heard this respected man share his life story in humility, their softened hearts were touched by the Holy Spirit. As he shared his love for Jesus and how that enables him to love others, including Arabs, people's own walls of prejudice began to crumble. You see Cyprus has a very large foreign worker population, and they endure much persecution. Racism runs rampant and the people are broken. What followed after Asher finished speaking was a beautiful time of repentance amongst the church in Cyprus. Cypriots got up to represent their country and repented to the different nationalities who have been mistreated on the island. And in return, immigrant workers stood up to forgive and embrace them. This went on and on and on. Cyprus is a divided country. The south side (where I am) is Greek and the north side is controlled by Turkey. There is a lot of animosity between the two sides. Living in a divided nation is never easy. Countries like Germany are still recovering. A sweet woman stood up and confessed that she had been harboring anger and hatred in her heart towards the Turkish people. She confessed her sins (James 5:16) and repented. It was so powerful, and God's grace flooded the room.

Asher also gave the gospel message and two women made a decision that night to reconcile themselves to God and trust in Jesus!!! God is so good. There were also healings and other awesome works of God. What a night! We were all tired, but it was so worth it. This is real life, the way it was meant to be lived.

The room was packed!

Prayer ministry

Forgiveness

The woman who repented for her attitude toward the Turkish Cypriots - so powerful!

Will You Be My Valentine?

2009-02-18T12:15:00.004-07:00

So, our sweet brothers (guy classmates) surprised us girls with a Valentines Day Chocolate Extravaganza!!! First Tony (the only boy in my class) treated us five girls in our class to amazing chocolate that he brought all the way from the states just for this occasion! It was so good and we had a nice time together as a class. Little did we know that it was just the tip of the iceberg! That evening, the chocolate really started flowing! Matti (an intern) headed up the event, showing all the young men in the community how to be gentlemen. We were completely surprised when they walked into the lounge with chocolate chip cookies, hot chocolate, coffee, and chocolate in every shape and size (including REALLY good German chocolate!). They served us all with love and humility. We are on a bit of a chocolate overload (I think it's in my blood!), but it was soooo good and we were very thankful:) We have such sweet brothers and we were so touched by their thoughtfulness. There was a lot of phileo love flowing around here on Valentines day!

Xaundelle and Marie enjoying the evening...

Our brothers were so sweet!

Daniel (1st year), Matti (the ring leader) and Caleb (1st year) serving the ladies hot chocolate:)

2 I'd Vision

2009-02-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

This week has been so rich. I can't believe everything that God is already doing. I love truth so much, so when it comes and touches my heart, conforming it to God's, I am so delighted. I've caught myself tearing up a few times in class - it's just that God's goodness is so real to me and no matter how many times I hear and know in my head that He is good, it still baffles my heart. On Wednesday morning, in worship, God gave me a greater revelation of His heart for the Arab/Palestinian people. I've always had a heart for the Jewish people - it was easy for me to love them. I identify with them so strongly, because Jesus was Jewish, but the Palestinians, I had a harder time with. I would never have said that I didn't love them - I know better than that. God has a deep, heart love for them - I just couldn't fully grasp it. And I'm not sure that I fully do now, but I definitely have more!

God showed me, in a picture, His sadness as Hagar and Ishmael were sent out into the desert. He showed me His love for them. And He took me through history - showing me how His heart broke for both Isaac and Ishmael. Then He showed me Yeshua, when He was ministering in Israel and how He loved the descendants of Ishmael. For this conflict has been going on for millennia. When He addressed the crowds "My brothers..." it was to Jews and Arabs. Seeing His love for them in my mind's eye, penetrated me so deeply. I long for a greater two I'd vision. The two I's of Isaac and Ishmael.

I've known for so long that I was to be in the nations, but I've never known exactly where. I always say that I'll go wherever He tells me to. But, as I examined my heart, I realized that I was deceiving even myself. If I were to be really transparent, you would find in me, a deep fear of going to an Arab nation. I repented at that moment for not trusting my Abba and being truthful in my commitment to HIm. And I promised Him, "I'll go where you tell me to go." It was not that He wanted me to commit at that moment to spend the rest of my life in Syria or anything, He just clearly said that He wanted me to be completely open and surrendered to His will and plan for my life. And as I did that, He (in His great grace) gave me another picture. It was me, dressed in combat fatigues. He said, "It will not be easy. It will be a battle. But I equip those whom I call" And at that moment, He placed a strap of bullets over my shoulder and across my chest. I looked down, and written of every bullet was love, love, love, love. One after the other. If He does choose to place me in any nation, He will equip me with love for it.

I once heard a missions speaker say "All the easy places are taken." It's so true. If one day to God is a thousand years on the earth, we are truly in the last hours. The bridegroom IS coming back. Come Lord Jesus, do not terry! We long for you, and will do what ever it takes to hasten Your soon return.

The Journey

2009-02-09T13:00:00.004-07:00

Well, it was a long haul, but after 65 hours of traveling, I arrived in Cyprus early Wednesday (January 28th) morning. But to back up a bit, I arrived at DIA at the beginning of my journey to the island and discovered that there was a problem with my ticket. I was flying a small Hungarian airline (because it was cheap!), so we were on the phone with Budapest at 5am in the airport - praying that we could get it straightened out before the calling card minutes ran out! We did get it worked out and I made my flight! But as a result to the problems, I had to spend 36 hours in Zurich. Lay-overs can be great fun, or sheer torture. The difference normally depends on whether or not you can go out and experience some of the city and culture you are in. In my case, I had all my luggage and belongings for 9 moths abroad - I wasn't in an adventurous mood. But my mom wasn't crazy about the idea of me just hangin out in the airport for 2 days and trying to sleep, so she contacted some missionaries we knew in the area. It was so awkward and I didn't want to be a bother to anyone, but after several hours of trying to sleep in the airport and jolting awake every 45 minutes afraid someone was stealing my stuff...I relented. Dennis (the missionary) came and picked me up and took me back to their mission house about 40 minutes away. I had a warm bed, yummy dinner, and hot shower! As I was going to bed that night in an unfamiliar room, I was talking to God and thanking Him so much for His goodness. I was so in awe of His love for me. He made His presence very tangible that night and tears streamed down onto the pillow as we partook in a divine conversation. I can't help but think that this is what the Christian life is supposed to be like.

I love being in the family of God. I was able to stay in someone's house, who I've never even met before, in Switzerland, and feel totally safe! They had such a genuine love for me (although it was the first time they had net me!) and served me with such a totality that I was overtaken. I will admit, there were times in those 65 hours that I felt frightened - that maybe I had bitten off more than I could chew - but God was so faithful to come and comfort me in a way He knew would sooth my heart. I was completely alone in foreign countries and all I had was Jesus - but He was more than enough. He is so faithful to meet us where we are and guide us the rest of the way. He gave me sweet little gifts throughout my journey and I was so overcome with love for Him. After I left Zurich, I had a short layover in Budapest, and then I came home to Cyprus. As soon as I was on the island, a peace came over me that was so deep. It's knowing that you are right in the middle of God's will for you. There is no question or shadow of doubt in your mind. At that moment, I was exactly where God desired I would be when He formed the world and I was but a thought in His mind. Shalom. Thank You, sweet Jesus.

This was the little nest that I had built in the Zurich Airport when I thought I was going to be there for 36 hours! I was hiding out under the escalators trying to get a little sleep free from paranoia about people stealing my stuff!

A New Year

2009-02-09T13:00:00.002-07:00

For the GTS II students, the beginning of the 2009 school year has been a happy homecoming. The reuniting of class-mates previously separated by nations has been sweet and we all feel that we have, in a sense, come home. Our small class of six (with just one male - poor Tony!) is expectant for our portion from Abba this year. Many of us found new freedom and identity last year, and it has been amazing to start this year walking in that fullness. Our GTS I ceiling has become our GTS II floor. We are building on the foundation the Lord has already so skillfully laid.

Beautiful memories of last year's revelations and breakthroughs are already being mingled with those of this year, for we have hit the ground running! Matthew Rudolph has been teaching us this week on our life's purpose and calling. The second year program is focused on honing in on God's purposes for each of us in our generation. We have been discovering what these are by looking at the longings and desires that God placed in our hearts, even as children, through the lens of Heaven. This enables us to see how they were designed to further the Kingdom of God. There are also several unique aspects to the second year program that are new to us. We are privileged to take part in Living Room Sessions this year. This is a time when the senior leaders in the Gateways Beyond community graciously invite our class into their home to share with us the wisdom they have acquired over years of life in ministry. We also have our weekly Romans class, in which we will be digging into Paul's letter to the believer's in Rome, looking for it's purposes then and application now. This will include discussion, study, and committing the Word to memory. We are all very excited about this new year and eager to grab hold of everything God has for us. We stand surrendered, letting the truth if Yeshua form us into instruments of the Kingdom, moving from glory to glory. Come Holy Spirit.

Home Sweet Cyprus

2009-02-04T11:52:00.004-07:00

I know many of you have been wondering, so to quickly update you all....

I am in Cyprus!

I had a few unexpected difficulties getting here, but I now feel at home and at peace. I don't have time to write much tonight, for it's the first week of classes and I already have quite a bit of homework due tomorrow, but I wanted to let you all know that I'm alive and well. God is so good and has been so gracious and beautiful on my journey here. I love and miss you all, but couldn't feel more shalom than I do right now on this island. More updates will be coming soon....

Going Home...

2008-12-06T00:30:00.002-07:00

My six months in the Gateways Beyond Training School's first year program were the most world shaking and life reviving of my twenty years. I will never be the same. I hold the truths I learned there in my heart everyday, and will always look back at that time on the small island in the Mediterranean with deep gratitude. God whispered to my spirit in the form of the teachers, staff, and the program as a whole. I will soon be returning to this life changing place, where the love is genuine and the revelations - life changing.

When I arrived at the Gateways Beyond Training school at the beginning of 2008, I was prepared for great teachers, deep theology, and a series intensive missions courses to jump start me into my international life calling. I was ready for God to speak to me and work in me. I wanted to foster a deeper level of intimacy and love with my Father. Little did I know that I had set my sights too low. What I left with in June of that same year, was a completely different reality to live in. One in which miracles occur daily, without loosing their awe inspiration. One in which I can say that I am the daughter of a good Father, and believe it. And one in which God's presence took on a beautiful familiarity. But I must fill you in on what took place between January and June that lead to such a transformed life.

I learned that our GTS 2008 theme was "Born of God" when we started classes in the almost unbearable cold of January. I'm ashamed to say it now, but I was somewhat disappointed. It struck me as...elementary. I thought, yes, I know I'm a child of God - I learned that in Sunday School as a little kid. But, as the year went on and our study of John's First Epistle continued to present truths that I felt must have been hiding for the last twenty years, I realized that I had no idea what being a child of God really meant. God's love for me as my Father was greater than my finite mind could have ever have imagined. And the presence that He desired to have in my life was more real than my skin. I began to understand that being a child of God comes with a level of authority - I speak to this world on behalf of my Father. He has placed His living Spirit inside of me to direct me in establishing His Kingdom rule on earth. Although it sounds somewhat cheesy, during a prayer time one morning in Berlin, God spoke to me and said that with Him, everyday is take your daughter to work day. The truth in that statement's simplicity forever changed the way I live. I carry the reality of Heaven inside of me, because I am the daughter of the Most High God! I have the family likeness. I started desiring to be about my Fathers work in a way I had yet to know. Because I better know who He is, I better know who I am and what I am supposed to be doing on this earth. I began to understand the empowerment of the Holy Spirit in my life. I do not only crucify myself with Christ, but I rise up and live with Him in resurrection power as well!

Living in this new reality has been like moving to a new city. I love living in it and have learned where all the daily necessities are, but I want to become familiar with all of it's pleasures and practicalities that I have yet to discover. So, I'm asking for the help of respected residents of the city who have lived in this reality longer than I have. That's why I will be returning to Cyprus under the GTSII leadership. There is still so much I have to learn about walking in the Spirit of God. Some might say that I can learn these things in the States on my own - isn't the Holy Spirit a good enough teacher? Or aren't there other good schools you could go to? Why must you return to Cyprus? The answer to these questions are, of course He is, and of course there are, but I believe God is calling me back to Cyprus. My heart strings pull me there. I feel like my discipleship should continue under the authority of those I have come to trust, love, and respect. And as I was so pleasantly surprised to find the first time I was there, I actually believe they all love me when they say it. It's an art loving a young person you just met with such sincerity, so contrary to the artificial love of this world, that they are startled by it (in a good way). Before I go any farther, I must confess that I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to Gateways. I suppose it had something to do with a sneaky pride that didn't want to admit I still have things I need to grow in. I mean, if my first six month intensive didn't completely perfect me, I better not tell anyone, right? I now see the ridiculous fallacy in that thinking and am submitting myself to what I believe is God's desire for me: Cyprus.

Coming home from Gateways Beyond, and living once again with family and friends, has highlighted (with what feels like an annoyingly bright shade of neon yellow) some of the afore mentioned areas I still need growth in. I won't sugarcoat it - I still find evidence of selfishness and spiritual laziness in my life. I know that I am in a process and I refuse to accept the guilt that tries to attach itself to me after I have repented, once again, for failing in one of these (and other) areas. But I desire full victory in them. On top of this, one of many invaluable things I learned in my first year at GTS, was that no matter how wonderful I think God is - He is more wonderful. And no matter how deep I feel my relationship with Him is - it can go deeper. I have experienced the life changing work God chooses to do in those Mediterranean mountains and know that there's more to be done in me.

I've known that I was called to international ministry since I was nine years old when my mom took me on my first missions trip. It's been a consuming passion ever since. I know that God has created me to live among the nations. When I talk about it my heart beats faster and God has graciously created me to enjoy my calling. My home is where the Lord is. And my destiny lies across oceans and borders.

My trip with Gateways in 2008 was my first experience in Israel. I have spent a large portion of my life in a Messianic congregation and considered myself to have an good understanding of the importance of Israel. But I never considered myself a "fanatic". I listened to people who had just returned from the Land tell romanticized stories of feeling "at home" the second their feet hit the ground and bursting into tears at various holy sights. I didn't get it and definitely didn't think I would be one of "those people". And then I man named Asher Intrater came to speak. I absorbed his teaching like a sponge. I began to understand the covenants of God. This made my experience in Israel so much more meaningful. But even then, I didn't have a romantic view of Israel - I had the revelation. I fell in love with the Land and its people. So much so, that I still set aside every Friday before shabbat to pray and fast for God's chosen people. It was a discipline that has become a pleasure. Walking down the streets of Jerusalem seemed strangely familiar in all of their unfamiliarity. And I felt unexplainably connected to the physical ground and nature there - more so than I ever have in my native state of Colorado. I asked the Holy Spirit to show me why I felt this way and He simply said, "You feel this way because this is your inheritance." God did something in my heart at that moment - He tied my heart to the Land. I desire to live there for some period of time in my life. It is my responsibility to provoke God's people to jealousy by the intimacy in my worship and relationship with the God of Jacob.

Being in the Gateways Community feels like being surrounded with family. I have finally met people who understand why I get teary eyed just thinking about my desire to live with people who have yet to know the love of Jesus. Or who understand the language of leaking, exploding, and a good dose of shaba juice:) I want to surround myself with people who have gone before me and gained wisdom that I do not yet attain. I know that there are still things that I need to work on in my own life before I can be fully effective in ministry. I want to go out into the harvest field with my muscles strong and my sickle sharp. I want to once again place my life under their authority to mold me into an effective servant of the Kingdom. Yeshua has begun a great work within me, but there is more to be done. I believe part of that work is to be completed in the Gateways Beyond Community.

Shalom!